Getting Played - Emma Chase Page 0,49

relationships. Can’t say I’m surprised—though she gives outstanding dirty-girl in bed, out of it, she definitely gives off the good-girl vibe.

It’s not like I haven’t had girlfriends before. I’ve had plenty. I’ve done relationships.

I just suck at them. Screw them up. Every time.

It became a pattern, in high school and into my twenties. The first few days, I was golden—life was good—the bloom was on the rose. But then I’d start to get that itch, start to get bored.

The pussy would start to look pinker on the other side of the street.

And then I’d fuck around. I didn’t set out be a jerkoff, hurting a woman’s feelings was never the goal. The drama, tears, and headaches that always followed weren’t fun either. Which is why when I was older, wiser and more mature, I swore off relationships all together. I went legit—became a straight shooter. I discovered being direct with a woman, putting my not-interested-in-a-relationship cards on the table was even easier than screwing around and inevitably getting caught.

And now here we are boys and girls.

A hellish situation of my own making where a sex-only, no strings attached arrangement isn’t going to cut it.

Even if Lainey would consider giving a relationship with me a shot, I’m not sure that’s a route we should take. I don’t trust myself not to fall back into old habits—and that’s not an option with Lainey. I won’t risk starting something with her that I’m not certain I can finish. It’s like she said, we’re going to be involved in each other’s lives forever—if I’m going to do the dad-thing right, hers is a heart I can’t afford to break.

And I don’t want to. The thought alone makes my stomach twist painfully in my gut. I’ll punch myself in the nuts before I hurt Lainey.

The rub is—I want her. Badly. More than I’ve ever wanted any woman. I’ve waited for her—gone cold turkey for months, and that’s unheard of for me.

But it’s still too risky. Building a solid foundation with Lainey, for our kid, is bigger than my boner and more important than my sex drive. So, until I get my head on straight or my dick decides he’s willing to play nice with others—it’s going to be me and my hand for the foreseeable future.

Goddamn it.

~ ~ ~

The next day, after school, I give Garrett the heads-up that I’ll be late to football practice. Then I swing by the grocery store to pick up a few things and head to Lainey’s house. Jason lets me in and I find her in the living room—with those long, toned legs peeking out from itty bitty cotton black shorts and a power drill in her hand, standing on a ladder, and Bruce Springsteen singing “I’m Goin’ Down” from a speaker in the corner.

And, dear God—the things I could do to her on that ladder. Wonderful, filthy things that instantly make my heart pound and my cock throb. She’s the perfect height for me to just walk over there and put my mouth between her legs. I picture it, see it in my mind—the way she’d grip my hair and pant my name, arch her back and writhe against my face . . .

But then I catch sight of the small bump of her stomach, and reality smacks me in the head. I think about the baby—and how making Lainey lose her mind three feet off the ground wouldn’t be the safest option. My protective instinct overrides the desire to get freaky on the ladder.

“Hey, Dean.” She sets the drill on the ledge and picks up a beeping light green rectangle, running it along the wall.

“What are you doing up there?” I ask.

“I’m getting ready to record—to show The Lifers the finishing touches in the living room.”

I don’t have a decorative bone in my body, but the room looks good—with light gray walls and navy corduroy covered couches, reclaimed wood tables and a dozen different-sized candles filling the white-washed brick fireplace. It’s clean and simple but warm, the kind of place you’d look forward to coming back to every day.

“I’m going to hang up those boards.” Lainey gestures to three square planks, with ornamental arrows burned black into the wood. “I just want to make sure this stud-finder works.”

“If you’re looking for a stud,” I wink, “I’m standing right in front of you.”

“Ha-ha. I’ll keep that in mind.”

She turns back to the wall, reaching up over her head and stretching onto her tippy toes on the narrow step.