us," Jason promised. "I know it's hard, and I know that's the last thing you want to think about, but I honestly believe the answer is hidden in there." He flicked a finger at Zara. "I just don't want her to be next."
"I know," Dez breathed. "I'm trying, Jason."
"You're fine," he promised. "I know this isn't an easy thing I'm asking. I also know you'll do it. I know you can, because nothing stops you. We aren't going to let them take games from us, babe."
Her lips curled into a weak smile, gone just as he realized that was what it was, but Dez nodded. "Gonna make your girlfriend jealous if you keep calling other women 'babe.'"
"No, he's not," Zara promised. "Jason's problem is that he cares too much. He doesn't want to, and it'd be easier if he stopped, but he thinks of you all as family. Did you know he's got your picture on our living room wall?"
"What?" Dez asked.
Zara nodded. "And a few of the gamers. Rhaven's in there. Riley and her household. Um, most of the high table. He's got Bradley now too."
"And you," Jason reminded her.
"And me," Zara agreed. "Dez, you can do this. We'll all help you. I'm not even sure what I can do, but if you ask, I'll do it."
Dez looked over at her with glistening eyes. "Can you explain to Chance why I don't want him to hear?"
"Promise," Zara said. "I'll even let you steal my dog."
Dez finally shifted her hand to Crysis's head. "Yours, huh?"
"He is now," she joked. "I mean, Jason likes to think that's his mutt, but I promise that he spends more time with me. He also does help. There is nothing wrong with hating the past, Dez. There's nothing wrong with being pissed about it - or hurt by it. The fear is real, but it doesn't have to control us. It's just the boss we have to defeat for our final round, right?"
"I like that," Dez said softly. "The final boss." Then she sighed. "When do you want to do this?"
"Whenever you're ready," Jason told her. "Wherever you feel safe enough. This is your call."
So Dez pushed to her feet. "I need to tell the team that I'll be out for a while, because there's a lot." Then she turned and headed inside, leaving Jason and Zara on the loading dock alone.
"Don't hurt her too bad," Zara told Jason.
He shook his head. "I can't promise that, baby. This is going to tear her apart, and there's nothing I can do about that."
"Yes," Zara countered, "there is." She reached over and caught his hand. "You know the same pain. Let her see it. Make her feel like it's ok to break sometimes. Show her that fear is just a wound. It may hurt, it makes us feel like we're bleeding, but that is not the same as controlling us. Help her tear down the walls, then be there for her when it's time to put them back up - just like you were for me."
"And you for me," he realized. "Sorry I'm leaving you with Chance."
Zara chuckled at that. "Don't worry, I know his type - and it's not what I go for."
"That's my girl," he breathed, pushing himself to his feet. "Knew I loved you for some reason."
"For all the reasons," Zara said, stepping into him. "And you're allowed to break too, Jason. I will always be here to hold you together. This time, I get to be the strong one, ok?"
His answer was just to kiss her. It was the only way he knew to explain how this woman made him feel.
Chapter 5
Chance sat at his desk with Bradley in the chair across from him, slowly flipping through a folder of death threats. That was what had kept the FBI on this case so long. The attack on Dez years ago was enough to make sure that, so long as Deviant kept pushing, the authorities wouldn't assume they were harmless. Unfortunately, that was about all it had been good for.
"Some of these are just kids mouthing off. You know that, right?" Bradley asked.
Chance nodded. "Yeah, but we're getting desperate. The whole team has been stuck doing nothing but moderating the forums and game chat for weeks now. Rhaven is still trying to get her team in place, and no one has worked on the next game since she joined the company. We're losing productivity, Bradley."
"What happens if you ignore it?" Bradley asked. "Go back