The Game Changer The Final Score - By L.M. Trio Page 0,46

disheartened. I guess I was hoping for a different outcome.

“What was it like, seeing him after all of this time?” Mya asks.

“I went through a lot of emotions.” She laughs. “At first, I was so angry. All I could see was the pain that he caused me. Then, I was overcome with… relief. He’s finally home and he’s okay.” She smiles at me and squeezes my hand. “And then of course, there’s sadness, remembering what we lost.”

A tear escapes my eye as I listen to her talk. I love my brother and I know the extent of his punishment, and I don’t mean by the justice system. He punished himself far more than he deserved. Giving her up nearly destroyed him; and to think they may never get back what they lost, breaks my heart. They need each other. However, I also love her. I know what it did to her thinking she lost him. It was the second time someone she loved suddenly was ripped away from her. I give her space so that she has time to absorb everything.

***

(Jesse)

I’m exhausted, not to mention soaked and wet. I don’t even have the energy to stay up and talk any longer so I retreat to my room, looking forward to climbing in my bed and processing the night. My mind races in a million directions.

As I rub my tired, swollen eyes, I spot the shoebox on my bed. I quickly change into my pajamas and blow my hair dry. Poking my head out of my room, I ask Deanna if she is coming to bed. A day bed is set up in my room for Deanna when she visits. However, tonight she insists on staying on the couch. She knows me well, realizing I need the time to myself.

I open my window wide, allowing the cool air and what is left of the storm to fill my room. I climb in my bed, resting the shoebox on my stomach as I slowly lift the lid from the box. There inside is a neatly stacked pile of yellow-lined paper, folded and rubber-banded together. Each letter is dated at the top of the page. I start with the letter on top, dated the day he left:

JJ,

I don’t even know where to start. Last night was a mess. I’m afraid to know what you must think of me right now. I was trashed, I wasn’t thinking straight. I know it’s no excuse, but I swear I was heading home to see you. Ask Mikey. I had more than enough. Mikey was getting me out of there when I spotted Blake with his arm around you. He pushed me out the door, but once outside, I completely lost it. Again, it’s no excuse, but I was drunk. I kept thinking I wasn’t even gone and you already moved on. I know that isn’t the case. I know you. I was feeling sorry for myself and looking for an excuse to be pissed off. I wish I would have listened to Mikey and went home, but I wanted to take my anger out on someone and I’m sorry it was you. I did the worst thing I could possibly do. I’m sure you know, it was nothing, SHE’S NOTHING! As soon as we got to my house, I told her the only person I ever want to be with is you. I told her she needed to go, that I would never be with her, and… she left. Nothing happened… NOTHING! You are it for me. I could never be with anyone, but you.

Last night, I wanted you to hate me. You need to move on, but now I don’t want you to. Is that selfish of me? I don’t want you to leave me. My mind is so messed up right now. I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe I didn’t get to say goodbye to you. I hate myself for what I did to you. I thought about jumping out of the car to come see you this morning before I left, but I was too afraid to see the disappointment in your eyes for what I did. I can’t believe I’m actually here. My dad and Mikey brought me in this morning. They looked as bad as I felt. I ruined everyone’s life, not just mine. I’m so sorry, please forgive me. Please write me. I love you always, Luke.

I sit here, reading this letter over and over. This one