The Game Changer The Final Score - By L.M. Trio Page 0,15

Mikey was there as well. They must all know I’ve lost it, that’s why no one mentions her name around me.

***

As the months pass, I admit to myself that by now I had hoped she would have come to see me, but she doesn’t, which in turn pisses me off. Screw her. I don’t want to see her anyway. She’s probably moved on, either that, or they all know that I’m fuckin’ crazy and they warned her to stay away. It drives me insane thinking about it. Why the hell can I not ask Mikey about her? Then, a staggering thought enters my mind. What if it’s Mikey that she’s with now? They live in Florida. I’m sure he looks after her. After all, he’s been the one that’s been there for her the last couple of years. All this time, I’ve been thinking to myself that just maybe there would be a chance for us again. I’ve never considered the obvious. Maybe he’s been trying to tell me and I’ve been ignoring the signs.

My heart begins to pound so hard that I can see it popping out of my chest. My mind swirls with unwanted thoughts. I’ve never had contact with her since that night. No one mentions her name to me. I can’t believe I never gave any thought that she may have moved on with my best friend. How do I deal with that? I feel as if I’ve been hit by a Mack Truck; my eyes begin to blur as I drift in and out of a stormy night of sleep.

Chapter 5

(Luke)

It takes some time, but they finally approve the house-arrest program. No going back to jail, no going back to the crummy halfway house in AC. I finally have the freedom to sleep in my own bed, watch my own TV, shower in my own private bathroom, and head to the kitchen whenever I’m hungry. I should be ecstatic to finally be home, but I’m still feeling agitated most of the time.

Deanna is home for her summer break, I feel the strain on our relationship and can’t bring myself to talk with her like I used to. I know she remains close with JJ. I can’t help feeling that De blames me for her not being here. She visited JJ last week in Florida. When she returns, I barely take my eyes off the TV long enough to ask her how her trip went, which in turn, she barely gives me an answer, other than to say it was nice. I can feel her eyes staring at me, waiting for more, when I don’t respond, she turns away and leaves. It’s only after she abruptly leaves the room that I lift my head from the TV, wishing I was able to express to her how I feel.

Summer is more than half gone when Mikey finally has a rare three-day break. He calls to say he’s flying to Florida first to take care of a few things and then he’ll fly to Jersey to spend a few days with me. As soon as he mentions stopping by Florida, my ugly thoughts soon return to, what it is, or who it is, that he’s taking care of?

I can feel myself alienating everyone close to me. I don’t want to, yet I’m unsure how to make it stop. I can’t shake the feeling that they’re all in it together, keeping some big secret from me. I keep myself busy by working long hours during the day. In the evening, I spend a couple of hours working out and practicing. I know it makes my dad feel good to spend time in our backyard, hitting balls and letting me pitch to him. It’s the least I can do. I also spend a good amount of time at my old high school field, watching from afar so that no one sees me as Coach Briggs runs the annual summer baseball camp. My adrenaline gets pumping as I watch Coach run the drills with the new players, especially their new pitcher. He’s a lefty like me, and he’s good. I’ve heard about him, but he needs some work. I see Coach glance in my direction. I quickly turn away and head home. The bracelet firmly attached to my ankle reminds me of who I am now.

I anticipate Mikey’s arrival. My feelings are so mixed up. I miss hanging out with him, but at the same time, I feel distant towards him;