he didn’t have when he was growing up. I also knew he’d likely force-feed me three meals a day if he could. That hurt my heart. That made me want to wrap my arms around him and weep but I knew he’d hate that.
Further, I now fully grasped why he was against me contacting Delilah, why he wanted to take me into hiding. When he said it went against the grain of a man like him what he really meant was I’d made a decision and it had left him powerless. Gabe believed his job was to protect me. He took that job seriously, and I took seriously his ability to do that the way he saw fit. Yet he gave in and gave me what I wanted.
I’m falling for you.
Gabe wasn’t falling for me. He’d already fallen, same as me.
“When I joined the Navy,” Gabe started again. “Through basic, I sent my mom every paycheck. It wasn’t like I needed the money and I wanted to make sure she had what she needed. When I got to A school, I sent her half my pay. By the time I got to the fleet, she was on her feet. I lived in the barracks and saved my money. I didn’t go out with my friends, I didn’t buy anything extra. I was served up a good amount of shit for never spending money. But I couldn’t, that taste was still on my tongue. Every meal I ate I remembered what it was like to starve. Then one day at work I was talking to Chief and he mentioned some investments he made. I showed an interest and he hooked me up with this financial advisor. I started small, and I swear the only reason the guy didn’t laugh in my face and tell me to take my hundred bucks and leave was because he felt sorry for me. But I was desperate so I didn’t give a shit and soaked up his pity. From there I invested more. Then I bought a fixer-upper shit house and packed it full of roommates. Did all the remodel work myself, and when I left Norfolk to go to BUD/s I sold it and made a hefty profit. But I still saved, lived on the cheap, drove a shit car, and invested.”
None of that sounded like money issues, it sounded smart. And clearly, Gabe no longer drove a shit car. And I hadn’t seen it yet but he lived in a house on the water in Annapolis which couldn’t be anywhere close to a fixer-upper.
For my peace of mind, I ignored the starving comment because seriously, I couldn’t think about this big, strong, kind man going to bed hungry. I just couldn’t stomach the thought so I pushed it aside and focused on money.
“All of that sounds smart,” I noted.
“It was. By the time I got to BUD/s, I had a decent investment portfolio, money in the bank, and a retirement account all on an E-nothing salary. There’s no need for money at BUD/s. No time to spend it. So I dumped every paycheck into my investments. After I graduated, there was still no time or need for money so I continued to dump money into my accounts. After that, I took some downtime but not much. Training, deployments, workups, all of them back-to-back. I lived inexpensively. I sent my mom what she needed and barely touched the rest.”
Again, I didn’t see the issue. Over the years I hadn’t been that smart with my money. I had student loans and was still paying them off. And even with that debt hanging over me I still went out and spent money. I had a lot of clothes and shoes and no investments. I did have a little in savings—not much but enough to sustain me for a few months if I lost my job—and I did have a 401K but it wasn’t sustainable by any means. I drove a shit car for a while, and when insurance paid out after my engine caught fire, I used that money to pay off my old Honda and the rest to put down on a newer one. Not top-of-the-line, but it was still nice and I owed money on that. I didn’t own a house, I rented an apartment. Mostly because I was single and didn’t want the hassle of owning a home, but also because I didn’t have money for a down payment. I wish I’d been