something weirdly erotic about breathing his air, feeling his sweat on my chest, knowing unequivocally I was taking his cock. And all of that meant I was giving him the same. My air, my body—and if I was being honest my heart.
Maybe not in a romantic way, the way lovers would. But I knew he’d always own a part of me. It was stupid and careless but I didn’t care. I wanted him to have it for always. I never wanted to forget what possession felt like.
“Ready to give me more?” he asked.
Holy, sweet, merciful Lord.
There was more?
“Anything.”
I barely got the word out before Gabe showed me what more meant.
Strong, hard strokes, biting pain from him pulling my hair, firm hand on my ass. Gabe was relentless in his pursuit of more.
And when my body gave him what he was after he followed me into blinding, unparalleled pleasure. Color exploded behind my eyelids, my pussy clutched his cock, my arms tightened around his back, and my neck arched until his forehead rested on my lips. I tasted sweat, heard his long groan, and felt him release inside of me.
We laid there frozen in time as both of us caught our breath. But each second that ticked by meant reality crept back in. Slowly my brain started working and fear inched out the pleasure.
What had I done?
Chapter 13
What the fuck just happened?
Some foreign emotion had taken over and clogged my throat.
How had I gone from…what the hell had I gone from? Fucking her to practically making love? Or as close to making love as I could ever get.
I did not kiss women during sex. Before. After. Sure. During? That’s a hell to the fucking no. That type of intimacy led to mixed signals. But I hadn’t tasted Evette before I started fucking her. That was why I broke my rule and kissed her during. Right? She wasn’t some barfly I’d picked up for the night. I promised her respect. That was why I’d slowed things down and kissed her. Yeah, that had to be it.
Liar.
And why was I still on top of her?
I lifted my head and caught Evette’s eyes. There was no missing the trepidation that shone.
Fuck me running.
“Did I hurt you?”
She shook her head but I couldn’t miss her unease.
“What’s going on?”
Without understanding why I did it, my fingers untangled from her hair and I cupped her cheek. I didn’t stroke women’s faces. I didn’t lie on top of them after sex and ask questions. No, I disengaged. I wasn’t a dick about it but I certainly carved a long, deep line in the sand so there was no mistaking my intentions.
“Nothing.” Evette smiled and added, “You’re good at that.”
I was fairly certain she’d meant her statement as a compliment but for some ungodly reason it pissed me off. It shouldn’t’ve. I should’ve been pleased she seemed to understand. But the pesky emotion in my throat filled my chest and burned.
Maybe she was smarter than I was and had felt nothing beyond the orgasm I’d given her.
Yeah, that pissed me right the fuck off, too.
“Right,” I clipped and pulled out.
I forced myself to ignore the ache I felt at the loss of her. Fought the impulse to gather her in my arms and hold her.
Condom.
A poor excuse to run away but a necessity all the same.
“Be right back,” I said and rolled off the bed.
I took my time ridding myself of the evidence.
Evidence of what?
That I fucked her?
Christ, was I seriously standing in the bathroom staring at a spent condom? The sight of the thing grated my nerves. What would it be like to take her bare? I’d seriously lost my mind. Never in my life had I considered sex without a condom. Never wanted to spill myself into a woman. Never wanted the intimacy.
There was that word again.
Fuck.
I washed my hands and splashed water on my face hoping the shock of the icy cold would wake me up from whatever delusional world I’d fallen into. But when I lifted my head and looked at myself in the mirror I didn’t recognize the man staring back at me. I couldn’t find the cool detachment that was normally present. I did not mix sex and feelings. I did not mistake a great orgasm with emotion.
A sound coming from the bedroom pulled me from my stupor.
Pull yourself together, idiot.
Unfortunately, I didn’t pull my head out of my ass so when I saw Evette standing by the bed dressed my temper flared.