Brett’s core of honor and courage sank so deep and spread so wide, he wouldn’t be able to see past it. It had been one of the things that had drawn her to him initially. One of the things she’d loved about him. But the very thing she’d admired most would turn him against her now.
God…she didn’t blame him for hating her. She’d hated herself for two long years. What she’d done—or rather, hadn’t done—was indefensible.
Instead of protecting her brother, she should have gone to Brett, told him everything. Sure, he would have gone to the police, or NCIS, or whoever handled treasonous activities from the Navy’s end of things. But she should have done it anyway. She should have let Sean deal with the aftermath. She should have stopped protecting her brother.
Only she hadn’t. And now it was too late.
She hadn’t intended to tell Brett as much as she had. But the disillusionment on his face and the frustration in his voice had broken her. She couldn’t continue lying to him. She just couldn’t. It was time to stop protecting her brother at the expense of Brett, at the expense of everyone else.
She was done.
God…she was so tired of lying to the people she cared about. Tired of pushing people away. Tired of the fear and the stress and the constant anxiety. Tired of putting her brother above her morals, ethics, and happiness.
Brett had once called her Sean’s enabler, and that’s exactly what she was. It had to stop. Sean’s counselor had told her that every drug addict eventually hit rock bottom and had to claw their way back up. But the same could be said of a drug addict’s enabler.
She wasn’t sure if Sean was still alive—she hoped he was—prayed to God he was—but regardless, it was time to let him go. Time to own up to what he’d done and what she’d done for him. Time to accept the consequences and start making amends.
And it needed to start with the man across from her—the man she loved…had always loved.
The man she’d betrayed.
Pure exhaustion rolled over her. Defeat. Brett and his teammates put their lives on the line every time they deployed. It was time she showed a fraction of their courage. It was time she stepped up.
“You knew they were in the illegal arms trade? And you said nothing?” he asked again. His voice flat. Cold.
She swallowed hard. Nodded once.
“Say it.” His voice whipped out—razor sharp.
She flinched. Took a deep breath. “I knew.”
“Jesus. Sarah.” He fell silent.
She closed her eyes, mourning the loss of the man across from her, mourning the loss of the hope she’d held onto.
Excuses crowded the tip of her tongue, but she held them back. There was no justification for what she’d done. While an explanation might clarify why she’d done it, it wouldn’t excuse it. Nothing she said would make a difference to the man across from her.
By holding her tongue, by letting Mitch and his cohorts continue with their arms dealing, she’d put Brett and everyone he cared about in danger. Those guns could be used on them—on Brett, on his teammates. They’d already been used on those Green Berets who’d died. While those soldiers had died before she’d discovered what Sean was into, she could have brought the men responsible for their deaths to justice.
Mitch had had two years of operations because of her. Who knew where the guns had traveled since then? Who knew what damage they’d caused?
“I’m sorry.” The apology broke from her without any planning and just hung there in the silent cab. The tension was thicker than ever. The regret and guilt and shame overwhelming. She felt like she was drowning in self-disgust.
Without responding, Brett started up the truck.
She’d thought the silence between them during the trip to Dark Falls had been painful. But nothing she’d ever experienced came close to the tension between them now.
He didn’t look at her as he swung the truck back out onto the street. “You’re going to tell me everything. Absolutely everything. Got it?”
“I will.” Her stomach aching, Sarah turned to stare out the passenger window. She couldn’t face that hard, cold, disgusted mask he wore.
He drove them to a Best Western without saying another word. After parking beneath the canopy at the front entrance, he shut the truck down. “Get out. You’re coming in with me.”
He probably thought she’d take off if left alone. That she’d take the easy