Fugitive Heart - By Bonnie Dee Page 0,44
of them somehow. Come up with a plan. Drop the stuff and not bother with a face-to-face. But I can’t, and the best thing is to just hand over the money and come to an agreement with good old Bert.”
“Won’t they want to talk to me? They know I live in Arnesdale. Won’t they try to find out if I know anything?”
“Maybe. But speaking of you, I really think it would be a good idea if I do this next bit on my own.” He spoke gently, as if addressing a truculent child.
“If you didn’t want me here, why didn’t you try to get me to go back with Jake?”
“I didn’t want to argue in front of him. I’m not willing to put you in a choke hold.”
The knot in her stomach drew tighter. “Yeah, about that.” She didn’t know how to ask if he beat up anyone who didn’t do what he wanted.
He folded his arms and waited. “Go on,” he said softly.
She wanted to go home, climb into bed and pretend Elliot was safe in his apartment in New York.
For a moment, she was ready to hike across the fields to Mrs. Landry’s house and knock on the door in the middle of the night. But she couldn’t throw away the connection they had, and she didn’t want to walk off when Elliot could be saved from himself.
He asked, “You’re thinking about what I did to Jake, right? How I could do it so easy?”
She nodded. “Yes, I am. The gun back in his garage too. I really thought you could shoot him.”
“Guess how many people I’ve beaten or physically threatened since I turned twenty?”
“Nick, listen. I’ve never seen—”
“Guess.”
Why was he insisting on turning this into a game? “No.”
“Two. Jake and the guy in my apartment. This situation, this crap from my past, isn’t me. It isn’t part of who I am. And I would never ever hurt or even threaten to hurt you. Never.”
She understood then the vehemence he showed now. Fear. He hated the moment he’d attacked Jake even more than she did.
Her instinct to comfort him might stop her from pushing this as far as she should, so she ignored it. “You seemed pretty calm right after.”
“I did what I had to do to get this situation right.”
Damn, that sounded like a justification, and he must have heard that too.
He rubbed his face with his hands. “I know guys who’ve been to war.” He fell silent.
“Go on.”
“Naw, that’s not right and I guess I can’t get you to understand, Ames.”
“Please try. Please?”
“Okay.” He folded his arms, leaned his butt against the table. “You get trained to respond to certain situations in a certain way. But I’ll do it only when I think it’ll work. Got it? I’m in control. Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.”
He seemed to be waiting for her to talk, so she said, “Okay.”
“I hate that shit—might making right, physical domination, all that idiocy,” he said sadly and without a note of viciousness. “But this is a matter of surviving. I’m going to fight for your survival and mine. Even if I have to go around kicking every damn guy in Arnesdale in the balls.”
She gave a surprised laugh at the image.
His body seemed to relax at the sound. “You okay now?”
“Yes. Thanks for not telling me to suck it up and stop being a weenie about the violence.”
“Never,” he said vehemently. “You stop caring, and it would be just…wrong. Okay. Let’s get you out of here. We both could use some rest.”
“No. I’ll try to rest, but I’m staying,” she said adamantly. “This isn’t just about you. I understand that you know these people and how they operate. You’re in charge. But this is my town, my brother. I’m the one who alerted them to your presence here, and I can’t just run away.”
He drew in a deep breath, and she could tell he was trying to keep his cool again. “Your being here isn’t going to help.”
“Will it make things any worse?”
He scowled. “It could be worse for you. A whole lot worse.”
“If my safety’s the only issue, then I get to decide, and I’m staying. Is there room in your tent?”
They ended up walking to the very edge of the woods, where they could hear any approaching cars. He didn’t bother with the tent after all and only carried a couple of blankets. He gave her a pair of sweatpants that she wore under her stupid uniform.
“I