The Frozen Prince (The Beast Charmer #2) - Maxym M. Martineau Page 0,70
He blinked, touching his throat in surprise. “I’ve been trying to tell you that since the beginning.”
“Why couldn’t you?”
“The oath wouldn’t let me. I can still feel a slight burn”—his fingers trailed down his neck—“but it’s bearable.” Slowly, he met my gaze, then targeted the soft glow about my hand. “It’s you. Your magic. Something about it is lessening the oath’s control. I don’t know how long it will last. It seems to get stronger every day.” He continued to stare at the rosewood light slipping between our fingers. “I’ve been trying to warn you since the beginning, but I was so afraid my past would ruin things, that being open would just put you in more danger…”
“But it didn’t. I’m still here, and now I can help you.” I squeezed him tighter.
“It’s been so hard.” His voice broke just slightly, and my chest tightened. “There’s this voice in my mind. One I can’t place. Every day it gets louder. More insistent. I feel like I’m slipping away.”
My body stilled. “What does it want you to do?”
His fingers dug into my hip, seeking purchase. “Kill. To follow through with the oath. And Amira and Bowen… They’re hallucinations. I can say that now, with you in my arms. But when they’re around, when you’re not around, it’s harder to differentiate truth from lie. I rationalize doing things I never would’ve before.”
“Like what?” I didn’t want to know the answer, but Noc was talking. Sharing. And as terrifying as his words were, I wasn’t about to stop him.
“Like using my blood to command someone.” His voice was low, painful. “Like killing you and raising you, even though I know you don’t want it.”
A dull ringing started in my ears. His fear from yesterday, the questions about my life after death… It all made sense. Killing me would satisfy the oath. Raising me would keep his heart intact. It was the perfect lure. And his former loves were dangling it before him, convincing him that there was a way to satisfy everyone involved.
Everyone except for me. And he was fighting against their wishes with all his worth because he knew that. Because he loved me. Because he was my anam-cara, and sacrificing himself for my happiness was exactly what he was trying to do.
“Noc.” I breathed in deeply and settled my fear with his honeyed scent. “I love you. We’ll get through this. You won’t hurt me.”
He studied me without any sense of belief. “Just be patient with me, okay?”
“Okay.” I pressed a kiss to his chest. As much as it grieved me to do it, because it was the very thing that made it possible for him to speak, I capped my power. The rosewood glow faded, and with it Noc’s demeanor hardened. What I would’ve given to have an endless supply of magic.
“We should get going. We’ve still got a few days’ ride to Oslo’s Ruins, and we have to make it to Silvis’s Ruins by the first full moon of winter.” I craned my neck over my shoulder to stare out at the horizon where the early rays of sunlight were claiming the sky with golden-pink fervor.
When we returned inside, Oz was already busy in the kitchen and Kost was digging through our saddlebags, rearranging contents to suit his liking. Noc and I dressed in our travel attire quickly, and we ate some quail eggs Oz had found in the woods. He also unearthed some roasted coffee grounds tucked away in a cupboard, and I summoned Tila, my monkey beast, to ensure they were safe for brewing. The kick of energy from the coffee, coupled with the warmth in my chest from having an honest conversation with Noc, left me feeling prepared to take on anything.
We continued to ride north for two days until the Kitska Forest tapered off, leaving nothing around us except an open expanse of endless, knee-high grass. For the most part, the travel went smoothly. It was as if opening up about his past allowed Noc to gain some control over his oath, even without my powers, and there was an easiness to his breath that had been missing before. I’d still find him staring off into the distance sometimes, jaw clenched and eyes unseeing, but when I intertwined my fingers with his, he always came back to me.
By the time the sun reached the middle of the sky the next day, a lone tree had sprung into view.