There are two shirtless photos of him. One is at a pool party, but he’s holding an inflatable duck in front of him, so I can’t see much. It’s still really cute, though, because his smile looks so genuine … like he’s giddy levels of happy.
He’s the cutest boy ever.
The other is on a gorgeous beach in Thailand. He’s emerging from the water, dripping wet, staring at something off camera. No smile. Dead serious. It’s totally a thirst trap, and I’m here for it. His followers are, too, it seems like everyone he knows commented on how hot he is. I read a few of the comments.
GET IT BUDDY!
*fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji*
THOSE ABS THO! MURDER ME.
I tap, scroll up, and see the follow button.
My heart racing, I jab it.
I leave my room to go to Dad’s. I reach it and knock on the door.
“Hey,” I say. “Can I come in?”
Dad mutters something, which I take as a yes.
I step inside. He’s got his reading glasses on, and his computer is on his lap.
“Why are you up so late?” he asks.
I mean, I do stay up late a lot. But most of the time I just hide in my room. Being out here, trying to get his attention, is weird and he knows it.
“I wanted to talk to you, if you have a sec?”
“Go on.”
I know he’s recovering, so I shouldn’t be too harsh, but he looks old. There are big bags under his eyes, and his hair isn’t as perfectly kept as it normally is. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s messy, because it’s not, but you know …
It’s not as perfect as I’m used to.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“Fine. What did you want to tell me? I’m working, so make it quick.”
“Well, I was hanging out with Cassidy earlier, and she…”
“Cassidy Strickland?”
“Yeah.”
“When did this start?”
“Um … at the ball.”
“Did you not listen to what Vince said? The only people we can trust right now are our family. Everyone else is a threat.”
That’s not true, though. Vince said we should be worried about new friends. Not old ones. But I can’t challenge my father. That’s not how our relationship works. He knows best, always. Surely if Luke said exactly the same thing he wouldn’t be mad at him. He’s mad because I’m the one who said it, and I can never do anything right. I forgot that for a second.
“But that’s the thing, this is about the Friend Scheme! She had this theory, and I think it’s a really good one. Like—”
“Matthew!” he shouts. “Be quiet!”
I shrink back.
I could cry. Obviously I’m not going to. But I could.
“I’m sorry,” he says as he rubs his temples. “I didn’t mean to yell, I’ve had a long day. And you just frustrate me sometimes. Why is it so hard for you to do what I tell you? We can’t trust anyone right now, so you should just know you shouldn’t be spending time with her, at least until we’ve gotten to the bottom of this.”
I frustrate him sometimes. He’s never said that to me, even though I’ve assumed it for a while. Hearing it is a totally different thing.
It makes me feel broken.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say. “You’re right; it’s dumb.”
I turn to walk back to my room.
“No, Matt, wait.”
I ignore him, because I know he doesn’t really mean that. He doesn’t want me to wait.
He wants me to be like Luke. To be good at this stuff.
He wants me to not be me.
I go back into my room and close my door.
It’s just so dumb. He’s wrong, anyway. Vince said we can’t trust anyone new. Why would he be mad about me being friends with Cassidy? There’s nothing wrong with me doing that, so I have no idea why he got upset.
Whatever.
My phone is resting on my bed. I lift it and see I have a new notification. It’s from Instagram.
Jason has followed me back.
He’s also liked a bunch of my pictures. He’s even sent me a DM.
Who knew you were such a good photographer! Just when I think you couldn’t get any cooler.
In spite of everything, I smile. I start typing a response.
You’re the cool one!! But hey, are you free? I really want to see you.
I hit send.
Hey! Yeah, I am actually, my parents are out for the night, they took my sister to a movie. So I have the place to myself, for the next