would be a perfect place to hang out, as it’s a public place. We’d both be safe. Plus, I think if we hung out at either my house or his, I have a feeling we’d make out the whole time. He must want to do it again as much as I do. Which would be so hot. But bad.
There’s a knock on my door.
“It’s open,” I say.
Luke appears. He’s clearly on his way to the gym. His earbuds are hanging down the front of his tank.
“Hey,” he says. “Are you free?”
I sit up in bed. “Do I look busy?”
“Don’t be a shithead.”
“Sorry.”
He enters my room and sits down on my bed. Eddie follows behind him and curls up at his feet. Today must be one of his needy days. Luke scratches the top of his head, and Eddie’s tail thumps against my bed.
“Just give it to me straight: Are you and Cass a thing now?” he asks.
Oh boy. I don’t know how Luke can be so aware sometimes and so damn wrong at other times.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I saw you two talking at the ball, and I know you’ve been hanging out. So I was just wondering if she’s the girl you’ve been dating.”
“Oh, no. This is new. Cass and I are just friends.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, man,” he says. “Cassidy doesn’t give anyone the time of day she doesn’t think is worth it. If you’re hanging out with her, she must see something in you.”
“She doesn’t like me like that,” I say. “There’s no way.”
“Dude, why are you always so down on yourself?”
I shrug. “I’m not. She likes me as a friend. That’s not a bad thing.”
I actually do think that. I think there’s way more power in friendship than people realize. Anyone who’s never had friends would agree with that.
He eyes me warily.
“Seriously!” I say. “Besides, you two have history. It’d be weird if we hooked up, right?”
“She’s not used goods, Matt.”
“That’s not what I mean! I mean emotionally.” I stare up at the ceiling for a second. I need to be careful. His thinking I’m secretly dating Cass is definitely better than his figuring out the truth.
“Nothing’s going on, I promise,” I say. “And I’ll tell you if that changes. I mean, it’s not going to. But if it does, you’ll be the first to know.”
He nods. “I better be.”
He leaves my room, closing my door behind me. He knows me well enough to know that I always want it closed.
I open my messages to Jason. I know I shouldn’t, but …
I finally cave.
Hey. It’s cool if you don’t want to, but I was just wondering if you’d like to go to a fair? It’s in the city. Again, it’s totally cool if you can’t. I know I shouldn’t, but I miss you.
And send.
The typing bubble appears right away.
Oh my God.
Please don’t disappear, please don’t disappear. A message comes in.
You don’t think it’s a bad idea?
No, I do. But I still want to risk it.
Me too. Let’s just do it. Whenever and wherever you want me, I’m there.
* * *
Jason is waiting for me by the entrance of the fair. He’s standing in the middle of the walkway, with his hands in his pockets. He’s wearing a gray T-shirt, and chinos.
Very cute.
“Hey,” he says, as we hug. There are so many people around, but it feels a little like we’re the only two here. That this whole place belongs to us. He rocks me back and forth, and it makes me feel unstoppable.
I look out at the ocean. The sun is starting to set.
“Wanna check this place out?” he asks.
I nod, so we start walking down the main strip. We walk fairly close to each other, so it’s obvious we’re together. Not together-together. Just a pair. I don’t know how I’ll be able to explain this if anyone I know sees us.
Now that I’m here, this feels like a catastrophic mistake.
But whatever.
“What do you want to do?” he asks. “Maybe we could go on the Ferris wheel? Or are you hungry?”
I shake my head. “Honestly, I just want to talk. Can we find somewhere quiet?”
That might be hard. It’s crowded. Maybe I didn’t think this through enough.
We walk to the very end of the fairground and don’t spot anywhere quiet. Seriously. It’s like almost everyone in the city has shown up tonight.
“Sorry,” I say. “I should’ve thought more. I think we should talk. If we’re going to stay friends, we should make some ground