I felt my hackles rising, my heart beginning to beat faster. I was already beginning to sweat, and he hadn't even gotten to the meat of it yet. "You know I'm not like them."
He raised a single blond eyebrow. "Not like them? You are them, Merit. You're Joshua and Meredith Merit's daughter, Nicholas Breckenridge's ex-girlfriend. You had your cotillion, your debut. You were introduced to that world."
"Introduced to it, and walked right out of it. I didn't belong there," I reminded him, holding up a finger in protest. "I'm a graduate student. Was one, anyway, before your trip to campus." His face tightened at the comment, but I pushed forward. "I don't waltz. I hate wine and creepy little appetizers. And as you damn well know, I don't care if I'm wearing the latest designer shoes." His expression was still bland, my tantrum being apparently ineffective, so I switched tactics, went for commonsensical strategy. "I don't fit in with them, Ethan, and they know it. They know my parents and I aren't close. The socialites won't give me any information, and they won't help me get closer to Jamie."
Ethan watched me quietly for a minute, then pushed off the bar and walked toward me.
When he was a foot away, he crossed his arms and looked down at me from his six feet and change.
"You are no longer a graduate student. Whoever you were back then, you're different now."
I began to object, but he lifted his brows in warning. New vampire I might be, but I'd sworn two oaths to serve him and the House. More importantly, I'd seen him fight. I was willing to test the boundaries of my obligations, but I knew where the lines were drawn.
And when he spoke, I was reminded why he was head of Cadogan House, why he had been chosen to lead and protect this band of vampires. Whatever personal issues I had with Ethan, he knew how to coach.
"You are not merely his daughter. You are a Cadogan vampire. You are Sentinel of this House. When you walk into a room filled with those people, you will know that you are not one of them - you are more than they are. You are a vampire, of an historic house, in an historic position. You are powerful and well connected, if not because of your father, then because of your grandfather. You are nothing more, and nothing less, Merit, than exactly who you are. The question is not can you do it, but will you choose to do it?"
I lifted my gaze, looked up at him. He arched a single eyebrow, a challenge, and kept talking. "You have accused me of not believing in you. If this story goes to press, and Chicago's vampires are demonized as manipulative predators, we all lose. Who knows what we'll face then - another Clearing? Perhaps not. But registration? Incarceration?
Suspicion and regulation? Undoubtedly. But if you can get close to Jamie, become a source for Jamie, help him see who we really are, or, better yet, convince him to drop the story altogether, then we stand to fare better. If nothing else, we can put off the vitriol for a little while longer. I'm coming to you, Merit, because you have the connections to do this. Because Jamie knew you before, and he'll be able to see that your goodness, your decency are still there, even though you've become one of us."
"Christine has the connections to do this," I noted, recalling one of my fellow Novitiate vampires, who'd taken the Cadogan House oaths on the same night as me. She was the daughter of Chicago attorney Dash Dupree, and while like every Novitiate vampire she'd lost the privilege of using her last name, she was still a Dupree, still a member of that family, which stood in the highest echelon of Chicago society.
"Christine cannot do this. You have the strength to defend yourself. She does not."
Arms still crossed over his chest, Ethan bent over, whispered in my ear. "I can order you to do it, to fulfill the role you accepted when I Commended you into this House, or you can accept the job willingly."
He stood straight again, offered me a look that made clear exactly how much choice I had. He was allowing me the perception of choice, but he was right - I had given my oaths in front of him and Luc and the others to protect the House, even if it meant