waiting for. Alistair and I thought maybe he met someone in Amsterdam. He seemed really happy for a while.”
Turning toward her, I search her expression for any sign she might suspect that person to be Ellis, but then I remember Alistair never even knew the two saw each other there. It makes me sad for a moment that Nash feels the need to keep so many secrets, to hide his own life, so that his own family has no idea when or who he falls in love with.
And I want to tell her so bad. I want to tell her everything she’s missing out on with him because he won’t open up. Ellis and me and everything, but it’s not my place.
It’s strange, this soft spot she holds for him. The love that’s not quite romantic anymore but not quite friendly either. No one is more protective of Nash than Zara, including his father, but she really has no idea what he’s going through right now. Which means she has no idea how to help him.
With that, a sudden wave of protectiveness washes over me, a consuming feeling of mine.
After shopping, Zara and I take baby Harper to a late lunch where she lets me hold her and blow raspberries on the fat rolls of her neck, making her giggle loudly on the patio of the bistro. Zara is snapping pictures with her phone of the two of us, and it’s really quite nice for a while.
“You sure you don’t want kids?” she asks as she prepares a bottle for her.
“I’m sure,” I reply, and I am. I’ve always known that about myself. It’s not that I don’t like kids or want to be selfish, but I never had a real relationship with my mother, and I want the cycle to end with me. Not to mention, the diaper and bottles and toys isn’t really my style.
It looks good on Zara though.
As I pass Harper back to her, she nestles her to her chest, placing love-filled kisses on her forehead as the baby suckles hungrily on the bottle. Within minutes, she’s asleep.
After lunch, a familiar black car pulls up outside the bistro. As Nash steps out, I bite back my smile.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Here to take you back. What’s taking so long?”
“Are you tracking me now?” I’m not even mad.
“Maybe. Let’s go.”
“What’s the rush?” Zara asks.
He hops the small iron bars separating the restaurant’s patio from the sidewalk. Then he leans down and places a kiss on Harper’s sleeping head. Something about it sends a rush of butterflies down my spine.
Yeah, this is how women who don’t want kids end up pregnant.
“Sit down,” I tell him. “We’re about to pay the tab.”
“You two go ahead. I’m going to let the baby sleep for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, go.”
I notice the strained expression on her face, the way she’s watching Nash, noticing the way his hand rests against my lower back as I stand. When I lean down to plant a kiss on her cheek and thank her for shopping with me, there’s something missing from her smile. It’s not quite right.
“You should wear that dress tonight,” he says as soon as we climb into the car.
“You’ll ruin it before the launch.”
“That’s the idea,” he says with a wink.
He can hardly keep his hands off of me on the drive to the helipad. Once he parks the car, leaving it for one of his employees to park, someone takes my dress out of the back and follows us as we cross the cement pad to the aircraft. He takes my hand, looking back with a smile.
Something about that smile. It feels dangerous. It’s too rare, too valuable, the kind of smile that makes you want to give everything you own for it. I’d die for that smile.
“I’m surprised you left work long enough to come get me,” I say into the headset as we take off toward Del Rey.
He reaches across and squeezes my fingers in his. “For you? Anytime.”
“Ellis made you take a break, didn’t he?”
He laughs. “How’d you know?”
“Because he cares about you, Nash, and like me, he doesn’t want to see you working yourself to death.”
Instead of shutting down and snapping at me with something meant to hurt my feelings like he would have two weeks ago, he clenches his jaw and squints his eyes toward the skyline.
“You’re not going to argue with me?”
“No,” he replies.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened between