Fraud (Antihero Inferno #2) - Lily White Page 0,134
my eyes, hot and salty, the sting clinging on as I try to blink them away. There’s a bare inch between us now, the heat of his body brushing against mine, his forearm slamming against the pillar above me as his head lowers to pin me in place.
Grasping my chin with his hand, he tilts my face to his when I try to look away.
“Answer me.”
Rolling my lips, I suck in a deep breath, my nostrils flaring as if that will help expand my lungs.
“It was the end of our senior year. I knew if I let you walk away without something holding us together I would never see you again.”
“So what?” he asks, his gaze searching mine. “Why did that fucking matter?”
“Because I never hated you,” I yell, the truth volleying from my throat with tears of frustration behind it.
“Not when you pushed me down when we were kids, not when you tortured me all through school, not when you kissed me in the middle of a storm after telling me how much you hated me. Not once did I feel the same way about you. I fought back because it was the only way you noticed me, it was the only way I could tear off your damn mask. And when the time was coming that I knew you’d leave, I took that last challenge you fucking tossed at me and turned it around so I could attach a chain to you. I knew you’d be back because none of the Inferno do favors without eventually demanding something for it. And when the price is called in, it’s not just one of you who forces the issue. All of you show up. I set that fire and then ran to Tanner because I knew it meant you would show up again.”
Gabriel says nothing, so I keep going because, damn it, this needs to be said.
“I met you when you were at your worst, and I never let go. I held on. Fought back. Distracted you. Challenged you. Fucking made you see me every time you were lost in whatever bullshit your family was doing to you. And I did it because I saw you. Not the mask. Not Fraud. Not the liar. You. So yes. I knew you could destroy me. I knew that what I was doing was the dumbest thing anybody could do. But I did it anyway because I refused to let go. I still refuse. Be as mad as you want about it. I don’t care. But see it for what it is, Gabriel. You may have had Tanner and the rest of the guys on your side all your life, but you had me, too. And that’s my lie. I never hated you. I fucking loved you from the second I saw those bruised eyes and that busted lip. I loved you and lied by pretending I didn’t.”
Silence passes between us, his eyes still locked to mine, his fingers still grasping my chin. He taps his thumb against my jaw one time before the smile is in place again, his voice so fucking gentle when he answers that it sends a thousand icy fingers skittering down my spine.
“That was the wrong decision, love. Because I still win. You think you walked into that trap for me?” He laughs softly. “You did it because of me.”
I shake my head to argue, but he presses a finger against my lips before I can talk.
“Listen to what I’m telling you for once. Regardless of what you felt, and your reasoning, or whether you believe you could trap me by giving me what I wanted, the end result is that I still win. I’ll get what I want while your life falls to shit. You are still destroyed regardless of how it happened. Was your little speech supposed to surprise me? Or did you just admit something I’ve known?”
His head lowers more, our breath colliding. “I still get what I want, when the sad truth is that I’ve been using you all along. You can’t go home. Your own father wants to arrest you. The only thing you can do now is give us what we want with the hope that we’ll help you enough in the end so that you’re not completely destroyed. And you gave that to me willingly. But don’t fool yourself into thinking it was for me. It was because of me.”
My heart sinks into my stomach at the lack of emotion in