"Ommigod," Myrna said, shouting over the noise of the dryer. "I just heard the news about you marrying Joseph Morelli. Congratulations."
"I always knew you two would get married," Doris said, pushing the dryer off her head. "You were made for each other."
"Hey, I didn't know you dudes were married," Sally said. "Way to go."
Everyone gaped at Sally. Men didn't come into the Clip and Curl. And Sally pretty much looked like a man today . . . with the possible exceptions of his lip gloss and two-inch dangly rhinestone earrings.
"This is Sally," I told them.
"Chill," Sally said, giving them a rapper fist kind of greeting. "Thought maybe I'd get a manicure. My nails are like trashed."
They looked confused.
"Sally's a drag queen," I said.
"Isn't that something," Myrna said. "Imagine."
Doris leaned forward. "Do you wear dresses?"
"Mostly skirts," Sally said. "I'm too long-waisted for dresses. I don't think they're flattering. Of course, I have a couple gowns. Gowns are different. Everyone looks good in a gown."
"Being a drag queen must be so glamorous," Myrna said.
"Yeah, well, it's okay until they start to throw beer bottles at you," Sally said. "Getting hit with beer bottles is a fucking bummer."
Dolly examined my hair. "What on earth happened to you? It looks like someone cut big chunks out of your hair."
"I got egg stuck in it, and it got hard, and it had to get cut out."
Myrna and Doris rolled their eyes at each other and went back under the dryers.
An hour later Sally and I slid back into the Porsche. Sally had cherry-red nails, and I looked like Grandma Mazur. I looked at myself in the visor mirror and felt tears pooling behind my eyes. My naturally curly hair was cut short, and perfect Tootsie Roll curls covered my head.
"Massive," Sally said. "They look like fucking dog turds."
"You should have told me she was doing this!"
"I couldn't see. I was drying my nails. Excellent manicure."
"Take me to Joe's house. I'm going to get my gun and kill myself."
"It just needs to be a little mussed," Sally said. He reached over. "Let me fix it up for you. I'm good at this."
I looked in the mirror when he was done. "Eeeeek!" I looked like Sally.
"See," he said. "I know just how to do it. I have naturally curly hair, too."
I took another look. I guessed it was better than the dog turds.
"Maybe we should cruise over to north Trenton," I said. "Check out Eddie Kuntz. Make sure he isn't sitting in his kitchen having lunch."
Sally stepped on the gas, and my head snapped back.
"Jackrabbit start," he said.
"How long have you had this car?"
"Three weeks."
My radar was tingling. "You have a license?"
"Used to."
Oh boy.
THE LINCOLN TOWN CAR was in front of the Glick half of the house. Of course, Kuntz's half was without car.
"This doesn't feel good," I said to Sally.
"Like maybe ol' Eddie Kuntz is fish food."
I imagined, now that Eddie's car had been found abandoned, his aunt and uncle would be wringing their hands. Maybe they'd be distraught enough to let me into Eddie's apartment to snoop around.
Leo Glick opened his front door before I had a chance to knock.
"Saw you drive up," he said. "What kind of cockamammy car is that anyway? Looks like a big silver egg."
"It's a Porsche," Sally said.
Leo squinted at him. "What's with the earrings?"
"I felt like being pretty today, man," Sally said, shaking his head to give Leo the full effect. "See how they sparkle in the sun? Fucking awesome, huh?"
Leo backed up a step, as if Sally might be dangerous. "What do you want?" he asked me.
"I don't suppose you've heard from Eddie?"
"Don't suppose I have. And I gotta tell you I'm getting sick of people asking about him. First the cops come this morning to tell us about his car. Big deal. He left his car somewhere. Then some bimbo comes around asking about him. And now here you are on my doorstep with Miss America."
"What kind of bimbo? Do you remember her name?"
"Joyce."
Great. Just what I need. More Joyce.
"Who is it?" Betty called from inside the house. She looked around Leo's shoulder. "Oh, it's you. Why do you keep bothering us? Why don't you just mind your own business?"
"I'm surprised you aren't more worried about your nephew. What about his parents? Aren't his parents worried?"
"His parents are in Michigan. Visiting. We got relatives there," Leo said. "And we aren't worried, because Eddie's a bum. He does this all the time.