I looked at the stun gun on Ranger's utility belt. "How about we zap him?"
"You can't zap me," Norvil said. "I'm an old man. I got a pacemaker. You screw up my pacemaker and you'll be in big trouble. It could even kill me."
"Boy," I said, "that's tempting."
Ranger took a roll of duct tape off his gun belt and taped Norvil's legs together at the ankles.
"I'm gonna fall over," Norvil said. "I can't stand like this. I got a drinking problem, you know. I fall over sometimes."
Ranger got Norvil by the armpits and tipped him backward. "Grab his feet," he said. "Let's get him to the car."
"Help!" Norvil yelled. "I'm being kidnapped! Call the police. Call the Muslims!"
We got him to the second-floor landing, and he was still yelling and wriggling. I was working hard to hold him. Egg and flour were caked in my hair, I smelled like pickle brine, and I was sweating like a pig. We started down the second flight; I missed a step and slid the rest of the way on my back.
"No problem," I said, hoisting myself up, wondering how many vertebrae I'd cracked. "You can't keep Wonder Woman down."
"Wonder Woman looks a little beat," Ranger said.
Regina and Deborah were sitting on their stoop when we hauled Norvil out.
"Lord, girl," Regina said. "What happened to you? You look like a big corn dog. You've been all breaded up."
Ranger opened the Range Rover's rear door, and we tossed Norvil inside. I limped around to the passenger side and stared at the pristine leather seat.
"Don't worry about it," Ranger said. "You get it dirty I'll just get a new car."
I was pretty sure he was kidding.
I WAS on the small front porch, rooting around in my bag, looking for the key to Morelli's house when the door opened.
"I'm not even going to make a guess on this one," Morelli said.
I pushed past him. "You know Norvil Thompson?"
"Old guy. Robs stores. Goes nuts when he drinks . . . which is always."
"Yep. That's Norvil. I helped Ranger bring him in."
"I take it Norvil wasn't ready to go."
"Threw everything he had at us." I looked down at myself. "I need a shower."
"Poor baby. I could help."
"No! Don't come near me!"
"This isn't about the cookie jar, is it?"
I dragged myself up the stairs and into the bathroom. I stripped and stepped under the steaming water. I washed my hair twice and used a cream rinse, but my hair wouldn't come clean. I got out of the shower and took a look at my hair. It was the egg. It had hardened like cement, and little pieces of eggshell were stuck in the cement.
"Why me?" I said.
Morelli was on the other side of the bathroom door. "Are you all right? Are you talking to yourself?"
I wrenched the door open. "Look at this!" I said, pointing to my hair.
"Looks like eggshell."
"It won't come out."
Morelli leaned closer under the guise of examining my hair, but he was actually looking down my towel. "Hmm," he said.
"Listen, Morelli, I need help here."
"We haven't got much time."
"Help with my hair!"
"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think your hair is beyond my help. The best I could do is take your mind off it."
I searched through the medicine chest and came up with some scissors. "Cut the egg out."
"Oh boy."
Five minutes later Morelli looked up from his job and met my eyes in the mirror. "That's all of it."
"How bad is it?"
"You remember when Mary Jo Krazinski had ringworm?"
My mouth dropped open.
"It's not that bad," Morelli said. "Mostly it's just shorter . . . in spots." His finger traced a line along my bare shoulder. "We could be a few minutes late."
"No! I'm not going to be late for your mother. Your mother scares the hell out of me." His mother scared the hell out of everyone but Joe. Morelli's mother could see around corners. His father had been a drunk and a philanderer. His mother was beyond reproach. She was a housewife of heroic proportions. She never missed mass. She sold Amway in her spare time. And she didn't take crap from anyone.
Morelli slid his hand under my towel and kissed the back of my neck. "This'll only take a minute, babe."
A burning sensation skittered through my stomach and my toes curled. "I have to get dressed," I said. But I was thinking, Ohhhh, this feels good. And I was remembering what he'd done the night