This thing could keep her locked in a studio for hours, had done that in the past, or had kept her sequestered in her bedroom until a song was finished. She thought of the others in the compound, how they'd go off with their muse lover and create in sublime isolation, only to return to the group haggard, worn out, dehydrated, malnourished, but deeply satisfied. A low, knowing chuckle coated her insides as she thought of her early times with Carlos. It wasn't different at all--same thing... coming back to the compound all beat down, raggedy, exhausted from being at it all night, ready to drop where she stood from giving a pint of blood, but oh, so very content.
She left her duffel bag on the floor and closed the drawer, and then crossed the room to flop on the bed. Satisfied... that was the word... and her muse was suffering, hadn't been satisfied in a long time. It was all over his handsome face--need. She wondered if that, along with the rip in time, had caused him to breach the void to come to her... aroused, apexing, breathless, unashamed, and begging her to return to him.
Again, a light tap at her door didn't startle her, but oddly annoyed her. She already knew who it was, but was enjoying the solitude of working the puzzle out in her mind alone. She murmured, "Come in," but didn't really mean it. What she really wanted to do was sit down with this strange being and ask him about inspiration. Where did it come from, what type of light sent it? How did it focus and become manifest from one side of the dimensions to the other? Did everybody get their own muse, and were they all as fine as he?
Carlos's form appeared at her now-opened door, but a thousand distant questions still pummeled her brain, then slipped away quietly and were gone.
"I just came to check on you."
She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair. "Thanks. Listen, about earlier, I'm sorry."
"No apology necessary," he said, coming into her room and quietly shutting the door behind him. "Look, I know you don't wanna be back here any more than I do. But I was worried, baby. Out of respect, like you did for me, I didn't mention the darkening of your aura, and I'm worried that no one else picked it up, either."
"Thanks. I appreciate that. Besides, it was probably just residue left over from before finally purging out of my system. No need to get everybody all hyped." She tried to smile. "See, no fangs, no blood sweats, or anything bizarre."
"That's not the point, D. I'm still worried for a lot of reasons."
She nodded and let out a long, weary sigh. They were dancing around the real issue, the earlier fight. That was fine by her at the moment. She had no energy left for that.
"It was my fault. I freaked out, got everybody upset. So this is the result." She forced another smile and patted the side of the bed for him to sit down.
He hesitated. "You sure you want me in here?" She just looked at him.
"Earlier, it seemed like... I don't know." He leaned against the wall and folded his arms.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, realizing how she must have come off Guilt gnawed at her. She had to let the Juanita thing go if they were ever going to move forward and get beyond it. Now she had a better understanding of how crazy drama could just kick off without it really being one's intent.
Knowing that made her finally stand up and go to him to touch his face. The dejected expression in his eyes made her want to weep. "Baby, listen, I was so wrong to lay that all on you."
His wounded eyes searched hers. "I just don't know what I did wrong by coming when you had an emergency."
Again, the unspoken problem remained like a paralyzed third party in the room. He clearly knew what he'd done wrong with the other unmentionable situation; she had made herself very clear about how that had made her feel. But they'd agreed by verbal omission to squash the impasse, it seemed. The silent truce was that they'd only speak on her most recent SOS call, and nothing further. The whole thing in the alley behind the club still burrowed into his brain. But all apologies and tenderness and making up would be focused on that, and nothing more.