she'll give it a good try before walking away. During the interim, while she figures it all out, he has control. She will suffer many indignities, just to keep the unit intact. Reasonable women have nearly lost their minds trying to do that while the baby's daddy did whatever."
Tara shuddered. "The only thing that makes me feel better is you used the past tense, 'was,' when you referred to being in love."
"I did?" Damali said quiedy. "Damn... I did, didn't I?" Tara nodded slowly. "Yeah, because now your head is getting twisted back on straight. But think about this, how many women have had their bright star of potential prematurely eclipsed because of this sort of crap? It's not that having children is a bad thing; in fact, it's one of the most profound gifts that I'm bitterly sorry that I can't share in. So, I'm not blaming the children," she added in a huff. "But with this gift comes responsibility, so nobody but the one who has the responsibility for dealing with it should be in your face rushing your choice. Got it? How many years have talented women wasted embroiled in domestic struggles, rather than focusing on their gifts or even their children?"
"That's why the queens took my blade . . ." Damali stood gaping at Tara with her hand slowly going to her mouth. "The whole blade ordeal was really them sending me a double message. The blade represented all of that. Wow . . ."
"Doesn't your Isis cut both ways? The blade was simply an example, a harsh one ,a metaphor, but not as hard as the real lesson they were trying to tech. Don't all relationships have a double-edged blade to them-passion that cuts so good but also cuts so badly and deeply when misused?"
Tara tucked a stray wisp of her hair behind her ear. "Damali, I've had years to ponder these things, and the moment you ran it down to us ladies in this very house, I knew exactly what the old girls were trying to tell ya. But for the same reasons Marlene and Marj wouldn't just spit it out, I kept my mouth shut, too. Some lessons are so personal they can only be learned from experience. If we would have tried to tell you, you would have told us that Carlos wasn't like that, blah, blah, blah, so we zipped our hps. So, yeah, I would have slapped your face to get you to wake up and taken your Isis, too, were I on the Queens Council, to save you from yourself, if I could," Tara said, her tone firm. "At twenty-one, had I known what I know now... Rider wouldn't have had to merely worry about Yonnie. Believe that." Tara chuckled. "Before you slaughtered them all, there were several very eligible masters available." Both women laughed again hard.
"The mission first; this yang later." Damali shook her head. "Basic."
"And... if you happen to experience a lapse along the way," Tara said with a grin, "your answer will be?"
"Aw... Baaaby... C'mon, now... don't be like that. I'm only human."
"Good," Tara said, coming to Damali to hug her. "Now sit your butt down on this bed and let me tell you what is really going on." Damali sat slowly. Tara flopped beside her.
"I'm a wreck," Tara said flatly. She covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. "Put me in a prayer seal so I can speak."
Damali murmured a quick prayer, and touched Tara's arm when she was done. Tara wiped the sweat away from her brow.
"See," Tara said weakly. "It's getting worse. Even I can't deal with a prayer seal for long. I'm out of this room in a moment."
"What happened?"
"While you were getting the best siphon of your life, Gabby sent us two initiates. One is a virgin, slated for Dan, one was with Bobby, and the two young bucks went ga-ga and added them to the team." Damali was on her feet. "What? Carlos did it while--" "Relax. They check out, and come with powers. The problem is Lilith is reconstituting the Vampire Council." Tara looked down at her hands and her voice became quiet. "She'll make Yonnie an offer he can't refuse... and if she does, I don't know if I can pull away from him." She glanced up at Damali and cupped her cheek. "That's why, while I'm still able to help you and can be in your corner, I'm saying all these things to you." Her hand