“Give me one positive thing about this body!” I demanded. “Go on, give me one!”
“Your tits and arse are bigger.” He grinned. “That’s two.”
“Elliot!”
I swung my hand at him as I laughed, and he caught my arm and tugged me against his chest. All laughter fled when Elliot leaned down and rested his forehead against mine, and he closed his eyes as if savouring the moment.
“I’ve missed this. Doin’ silly things like this with ye.” He squeezed me. “I’ve really missed you, Noah.”
My heart hurt for him, and it struck me that he would never have been the one to break up with me. He had always loved me like a man was supposed to love his woman. He was the man you read about in books or saw in films. He was one of the good ones.
“I hurt you, didn’t I?”
He didn’t answer.
“Was I the one to leave?”
Elliot kissed my forehead. “Yes,” he whispered.
“Oh, love, I’m so sorry.” I lifted my hands to his face. “I’m so sorry, I wish I could take it back. Please, forgive me. Please. I love you, Elliot. I love you so much.”
I made a decision then that changed everything. Up until that moment, I’d been reminding myself of Anderson, of who he was to me, but no matter how many times I told myself that there was a reason I was with him and not Elliot, I couldn’t change how I felt about Elliot. I loved him so deeply that I was hurting myself by stopping myself from being with him.
I hurt for Anderson and I felt horrible for him, because while the 2020 version of myself had chosen him, he didn’t stand a chance with the 2015 woman I still was deep down. My heart was Elliot’s, and if I woke up tomorrow and got my memories back, I would deal with the consequences of my actions then. My accident had taught me that nothing was permanent, and that life was promised to no one. I wanted to live the remainder of my life on my terms.
I wanted Elliot.
Elliot looked into my eyes, and when I slid my arms around the back of his neck and tugged his face down to mine, he didn’t offer me any resistance. I crushed my mouth against his and all thoughts of him rejecting me fled when he groaned into my mouth and plunged his tongue inside. He hands tugged me into a standing position so my body was fully pressed against his. I gasped when his hands moved to my behind, and he palmed my flesh like he’d never get the chance again.
With one arm supporting me, he moved one hand around to my front and slipped it under my top. I gasped against his lips when his large, warm hand cupped my right breast. He made a sound dangerously close to a growl in the back of his throat, and it awakened my body as desire rippled through me. I kissed him harder, bit his lower lip, and gripped the bulge of his cock in his jeans.
“Sasanach,” he snarled against my mouth. “If ye don’t stop, I won’t stop at just tastin’ these lips.”
I gripped his arm, my knees suddenly going weak.
“Yes,” I panted. “Yes, please. I want you so much.”
“How much?” he teased, licking my lower lip. “Tell me how much ye want me, gorgeous.”
“I want you more than my next breath,” I groaned as his thumb circled my pebbled nipple. “I want to feel your hands all over me while you suck on my cli—”
The handle of the door jiggled, and Elliot sprung away from me like I was scalding-hot coal. I lost my balance and fell back on to the bed.
“Noah?” a voice called. “I’m just checking that everything went okay with your shower. Are you in any pain?”
The nurse. With my eyes on Elliot I breathlessly shouted, “I’m fine, just getting dressed.”
“Okay. I’ll stop back again later with your medication.”
Elliot had his hands on his hips, his eyes on me as he breathed heavily.
“Are you mad at me?”
He shook his head. “I want to touch ye, to kiss ye . . .”
“But you wanna make sure I’m in the right headspace because of Anderson?”
“Because of him, and other things.”
I swallowed. “Sit. Talk to me.”
He sighed, then helped me into bed and made quick work of covering me with my blanket. After that, he sat on the chair next to my bed,