Anderson didn’t reply but I didn’t expect him to. He was deflecting the blame of the situation on to me and Bailey, and he wasn’t going to take accountability for what he’d done because he didn’t care. I wasn’t sure he felt real emotions, not like a normal person did. All he cared about was having me under his spell.
“Why do you want me?” I asked, dropping my hands. “What the hell could you possibly want me for?”
“Because you’re my best friend and my wife. I love you, Noah. I’ve always protected you from Elliot, from your parents, from everyone who has ever hurt you.”
“Anderson, you were the one who hurt me!”
“To protect you.” He rubbed his hand over his face. “If you went back to him, to your parents, you would have killed yourself. They caused your depression. You’re still alive because I protected you. I helped you. You see that, right?”
I didn’t see what he wanted me to see; I saw what he was trying to do. He was trying to manipulate me by making me feel sorry for him, to sympathise with him and accept that he hurt me to protect me. I may have believed that once upon a time, but not any more.
“I can’t remember being your wife, so why do you still want me?” I pressed. “Why?”
“Because you’re mine,” he growled, lowering himself back down on to the chair. “I’ll never let you go.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. I needed to keep him talking. His mood swings were startling. One second he was trying to be gentle, and the next he was firm and had anger blazing in his eyes.
“If I’m yours, why didn’t you try harder to see me at the hospital? Why did you only come to me twice?” I quizzed. “Why wait until I came to you?”
“Because your parents and that piece-of-shit ex of yours got to you first,” he replied, his voice so low it sent a shiver of fear up the length of my spine. “They never liked me. None of them did. At the start, I was extra nice to them. I wanted them to like me because it makes things easier when people like you . . . but none of them ever did. It’s why I stopped you from having any involvement with them.”
I lifted my hand to my mouth. “You stopped me from seeing them because they didn’t like you?”
“Because they would have had influence over you,” he corrected as I dropped my hand. “We would have never been able to be together the way we wanted if everyone from your life was sticking their noses into our relationship. You didn’t need them . . . don’t you see, baby? You only ever needed me. I take care of you, I protect you. Me, not them – and not him.”
He words felt like a pile of bricks weighing me down.
“When I met you,” he continued. “I didn’t know you were the one for me, but when we started talking, I saw that we were meant to be together. I wanted someone for my own, someone I could love deeply, and I found that in you. You love me, Noah. You do.”
My gaze bored into his. “It’s ownership, not love. You don’t hurt someone you love, not in the ways you’ve hurt me.”
He didn’t reply, he only watched me.
“I’m scared of silence because of you.” I clasped my hands together. “I remember the night of the crash . . . you beat me badly. I remember you were glad of the blackout the night I left you. You wanted things silent so you could hear nothing but my cries.”
“So you could hear them,” Anderson corrected. “So you could hear yourself be disciplined for your actions. You never understand that I do what I do for your own good, Noah. Please, believe me.”
My body began to shake.
“I won’t be like that again.” I lifted my gaze to his. “I won’t be the shell of a woman you want. You can beat me until I’m dead. I don’t care, I won’t be that woman.”
Anderson nodded his head slowly.
“I know,” he answered, surprising me. “You’re a different Noah from when I knew you; you’re strong of mind. I knew when you first looked at me in the hospital that you were lost to me.”