offered him a welcoming smile. She’d lit a lantern, which cast a soft glow over the dark room. A breeze blew in through the open window, tousling the curtains and dispersing the heat that remained from the day. Her cross lay on the couch next to where she’d been sitting. It was a rugged, unpolished cross, not something he’d expect a wealthy woman like Victoria to carry around with her. But she was obviously attached to it and usually left it on the bedside table.
“I missed you,” she said. In the lantern light, her brown eyes were large and her golden hair was glossy. With the wind swirling the long locks around her shoulders and over her arms, she was breathtaking.
He gripped the doorknob harder. “You’ve only been in here for forty-three minutes.”
“Are you sure it’s not more like forty-four?” Her voice was serious, but her eyes teased him. “Whatever the case, it’s been too long.”
He’d felt the same way. But he couldn’t say so. If he encouraged Victoria’s feelings for him any more than he already had, he’d only end up hurting her at the end of the month when he left for another position in Europe. He didn’t want to cause her any heartache.
Maybe it was better to argue with her and make her mad at him. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about all of these feelings. And he knew just what would stir up strife. The subject of the seamstress. “Mom said you could remake Ruth’s old dresses.” He reached for the few outfits he’d tucked under his arm and held them out to her.
He was surprised when she crossed to him and took them without arguing. She unfolded each one and laid them on the end of the unmade bed before standing back and studying them. “Even if the style is rather plain, at least the colors are bright and pretty.”
“You would look pretty in anything.” Once the words were out, he wanted to bash himself over the head. He was turning into Nathaniel. Flattering and fawning over her. And the thought scared him.
She smiled and gathered the dresses together before depositing them haphazardly on a wooden chair. Then she sat down on the end of the bed and patted the spot beside her. “Come on. Sit down so we can talk.” She whispered, as they’d gotten in the habit of doing so that his mom wouldn’t be able to hear every conversation they had.
He didn’t dare let go of the door. “Victoria.” His voice came out a growl.
“What?” Her elegant brows rose in innocence. “Your parents know you’ve been sleeping on the floor. So I thought we’d better move our talks to the bed.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
“But then they’ll stop thinking we’re mad at each other.”
Apparently he had to spell this out for her. “I’m not a monk. If I sit on the bed, I won’t have talking on my mind.”
“Oh.” A hue of becoming pink colored her cheeks. She twirled the wedding band on her finger. “Then what do you suggest we do?”
He glanced to the open window. The steady crash of the waves beckoned him to take a night swim. He needed to cool off and start thinking levelly again. “We have to remember that this isn’t real, Victoria,” he said in a hoarse whisper. “It’s my job.”
Her fingers lingered on her wedding band, tracing the rose pattern. “What if it doesn’t have to be your job anymore? What if we made it real?”
The hopeful way she looked at him, as if she might really care for him, as if she truly wanted to be with him sent a tremor through his body.
He’d never considered getting into a serious relationship. He’d always figured that if he hadn’t been able to keep his brother or Mom safe, then he didn’t deserve to have a wife or family because there was the chance that he wouldn’t be able to keep them safe either. He’d always believed he was better off spending his life alone, making amends by protecting strangers the way he should have protected the ones he loved.
But what if he’d been wrong? What if he could move on? After all, he was much older and wiser than he’d been during the war.
Even so, he was ludicrous to consider her proposal. They couldn’t have a relationship. They were worlds apart, she from the upper echelon of society and he from a simple working class family. She was atrociously rich. He had nothing,