I look up at the stars that start to come out. I’ve graduated high school. It should be a big day, but all I can think about are the people who aren’t here to celebrate this with me. The sun shined all day, not a cloud in sight.
Yet, I feel them like weights in my heart. The gloominess is there even if no one can see it. I look around the backyard of the Lost Souls clubhouse and take in all the laughing and smiling faces. I see them, but I wonder if they see me. Really see me.
I’ve tried not to let anyone catch me moping, but this is a hard day for me. At one point, a slight wind kissed my cheek and I almost burst into tears. My gaze lands on him for the millionth time, the only reason I’ve had a real smile at all today.
He came to my graduation BBQ. He even brought me a gift.
Music fills the air nearby, grabbing my attention. I look to see my little sister, Sal, has brought out a small radio just for our little group around our small bonfire. In the background some rock music plays, but Sal turns on some R&B and I know she’s done it for me and my best friend, Misty.
Misty isn’t just my best friend, she’s the daughter of the Lost Souls’ VP, Mix. That’s a long story there, for another time.
“Ugh, I’m going to kill Colin one of these days,” Erica says as she comes over with four beers in hand.
“Oh please, you’ll be glued to his side in five minutes,” Misty teases. “You two can’t stay mad at each other for longer than two seconds. It’s only the fact that you’re both stubborn as fuck that you’ll take a whole five minutes.”
I laugh at Reap’s pretty pouts. Erica or Reap as we all call her is gorgeous. It’s hard not to notice even through her rough biker exterior.
Which is what draws your attention to the gorgeous best friends. Their friendship is almost as stunning as the sight of the two of them together. The pair are indeed inseparable.
“She’s right, you know. He’s going to say something he thinks is funny and he’ll come looking for you to tell you about it and the next thing you know, you both are going to take off laughing,” I say.
“Y’all don’t know what you’re talking about,” Reap mumbles, handing over the beers.
Sal looks around before she takes one. No doubt looking for our big brother. I know exactly where King is. He’s with him.
I steal another peek in their direction. How does a man his size make jeans and a cut look so good? His thighs are a thing to marvel at as are his arms. The rips in the jeans only make him look that much more sexy.
The white T-shirt beneath his cut stretches across his chest, showing off all his muscles as it molds to his abs. I bite my lip and sigh. If only I were older and had a little more confidence.
I push up my glasses and turn away. Taking a sip of my beer, I tune back into the conversation. A frown comes to my lips as the bitter taste registers on my tongue.
This stuff is gross.
“What are you talking about?” Sal laughs.
“Right,” Misty exclaims. “You two are saying the exact same thing. Why are you so mad at him?”
“Never mind. You guys don’t understand,” Reap huffs.
“I think I do,” Misty says.
I tilt my head at the way Misty says that. I know my best friend. She’s hinting at something. Before I can lock in on what, Sal gets my attention.
“Hey, so you guys are going to school in Georgia. Are you ready for that?”
I think on the question for a bit. Sal has gone away to school for longer than I can remember. Me, I don’t know how I feel.
I know King wants me and Misty to go to Georgia. I’ve been accepted into a great program. I’ve never really fit in around here, so…
“Yeah, I’m excited, I think. Something new. Maybe I can reinvent myself,” I say and laugh.
“I don’t think you need to change anything about you. I love that you love books and you’re in your own world most of the time. Just because we’ve grown up around bikers doesn’t mean we have to be just like them. I think Mom and Dad would be really proud of you.”