But that’s not how it works. The choices I made changed the course our lives took, causing me to miss out on three years of life with you. But having that time apart has ingrained one thought so deeply into my brain that I’ll never forget it again.
“You are everything,” I enunciate each word. “Everything I see. Everything I want. Everything that matters. To me, you are the only thing that matters. A life without you wouldn’t be much of a life at all.”
Tears fall from Lily’s eyes as I continue, “In every meaningful moment of my life, you were there. It has always only ever been you. I’m sorry that my choices led us down this rocky path where we had to fight to make it back to each other. Honestly, living my life without you was never a choice. Lily, in my earliest memory, I loved you. When I am on my deathbed, I will love you. And I will love you every second from now until then.
“Lily, I want you to know that I’m ready. I will never hurt you again. I don’t want to waste another day of this life being apart. So, question time…” I grin down to her. “Would you rather spend your life with the man who loves you more than anything in this world even though he can be a complete idiot? Or would you rather spend it with the idiot who stands in front of you, telling you that he’s sorry and that he loves you more than anything in this world?”
Before I get the last word out, Lily bends and sets her camera on the grass. “You didn’t give me much of a choice, did you?”
She laughs through her tears and then leaps into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. She is crying, her face buried into my neck. I hold her tight and feel her sobs against my hands as her back moves up and down with each breath.
Lily’s crying seizes, but she continues to tightly grasp my neck.
“You didn’t answer the question,” I say with a grin.
She lifts her head until our gazes meet. “I choose the idiot.”
“Good choice. I was rooting for him.”
“Yeah, I have a thing for idiots.” She grins back.
“It must be my lucky day then.”
“I don’t believe in luck,” she answers.
“Oh, yeah?”
“Nope, but I believe in fate, and the thing about fate is that it always wins. Sometimes, it takes us on detours, but it triumphs in the end. I love you.”
“I love you more,” I say before my lips find hers.
My hand is clasped with Lily’s as we stand in front of a dilapidated storefront. I take in the old brick, riddled with cracks. The awning hanging over the front window, I assume, was a bright yellow at some point, but in its current state, it comes off as a color somewhere between mustard and mud. The dirty canopy clashes with the bright neon red lobsters flanking both sides. It’s impossible to see inside the opaque window due to layers of smoggy air over the years. And there’s an obnoxious flashing red sign that blinds me with each blink as it blasts the words Chinese Food.
“Really?” I question, bemused. “I told you to pick your favorite restaurant in the city, and you bring me here?” I take my eyes off of Lily to regard the restaurant in front of me once more, but I think better of it as my pupils are inundated with the flashing annoyance once more. “The sign alone is giving me a migraine.” I laugh under my breath.
“Stop being a snob,” Lily teases.
“I’m not a snob, Lil. There’s being a snob, and then there’s being health conscious. Completely different.”
She tugs on my hand. “Come on. You can’t judge a book by its cover.”
“Books? Maybe not. Places that prepare food? Definitely. Do you think they serve dog meat here?” I ask under my breath as we walk through the entry door, and the chime echoes through the empty restaurant.
“Hush!” she says.
An older Chinese man comes hobbling toward us. “Lily, my love! Come! Come!” He ushers us in. “You brought friend?”
“Yes, Bojing, this is Jax.” Lil beams up at me. “Jax, this is the best chef in all of New York, Bojing. However, everyone calls him Bo.”
“Bo?” I question.
“Oh! Jax. Yes. Welcome, friend. Call me Bo. Lily has told me much about you.”