own universe. We are able to focus solely on one another, and for this small moment in time, nothing else matters. In our world, there is no pain, and there is no death. There is only love, and it is a gift.
It’s been a week since Stella told me about her illness.
I’m on my way to pick up my dying girlfriend for a date. Damn it. I have to stop referring to her as such in my mind.
But this past week, I haven’t been able to stop myself. She still seems so healthy, so alive. I’m terrified of the day when she is no longer those things. My fear is that I won’t be able to survive it. How does one survive the loss of someone as wonderful as Stella?
I keep hoping that if I continue to remind myself of her illness, then I will have an easier time of letting her go. Yet I fear that won’t be feasible. I could prepare for years, and I still wouldn’t be ready to see her leave this earth.
Today, I’m going to ask Stella to marry me. My goal is to make as many of her dreams come true before she goes. She has dreamed about a fairy-tale wedding for as long as she can remember. I know this because the topic of her dream wedding has come up in conversations many times over the past few years.
A small part of me feels guilty because if things were different, then I wouldn’t be proposing to Stella right now. But things aren’t different. She doesn’t have the luxury of waiting for her Prince Charming. She’s stuck with me, and although I’m nowhere near the man she deserves, I’m the man she has. And for some reason, she loves me. If I’m wrong for marrying her, then I’ll deal with the consequences later. But no one can convince me that I shouldn’t.
After I pick up Stella, I take her to the Crisler Center.
“What are we doing here?” she asks.
Basketball season is over. Otherwise, I would have arranged to ask her at halftime in front of a crowd of Michigan fans. But the season has finished, and I don’t have time to wait, so the venue itself will have to do.
“I wanted to show you something.”
I take her hand, and we walk into the empty arena. Being Michigan’s quarterback for four years has some advantages. I’m thankful for my connections today.
My first real kiss with Stella was in this arena. It was where we started our romantic relationship. I know this place is meaningful to her.
Stella and I head through the tunnel leading to the main floor.
Before we reach the court, I tell her to close her eyes. “You have to promise not to peek. I’m serious, Stell. No peeking.”
“I promise. I won’t.” She giggles.
I lead her to the center of the court and look around. I nod in approval. She is going to love it. I take a deep breath. “Okay, open your eyes.”
She opens her eyes and gasps. Her hands cover her mouth as she takes in her surroundings. The lights are turned off. The only light in the space radiates from hundreds of candles placed around the court. We’re standing in the middle of their warm glow.
I don’t waste any time, and I immediately get on one knee. Tears instantly start pouring over Stella’s face, her eyes shining down to me.
I open the ring box that I’m holding and take the ring out, raising it up toward her. So many emotions flood my senses. I still can’t believe this is my life. It all seems so surreal. Looking deep, I ignore the torrent of feelings, and I focus on the two most important ones—my love and respect for Stella.
I clear my throat. “I think I’ve always loved you in one way or another. You have been at my side during this entire crazy college journey. You, Stella, have the ability to light up a room with your presence. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met or will ever meet, inside and out. I am so fortunate to be able to spend my days with you.”
Her bottom lip trembles, but she wears the biggest smile.
I continue, “We started our romantic journey here only a few months ago. The time that we have been together has been a gift to me. With this ring, I am asking for your forever. I promise to make you as happy as humanly