“No, you’re not. Don’t even give me that. You’re half-assing football and half-assing your classes, and I’m sure you’re half-assing your personal life.”
“Dad, stop! Don’t,” I warn.
“Don’t what? State the obvious?” He is so angry that the veins in his neck are bulging. “No matter what I do, I can’t get through to you.”
“That’s not true. I always hear everything you say.”
“So, you’re hearing me…but not truly listening. Is that it? Because if you were listening, you would make some changes.”
“I’m giving my all to everything,” I say, defeated. The high from our win is long gone.
“Then, maybe you need to cut some priorities out of your life, so your all can be redistributed to what matters.”
“What are you saying?” I know damn well what he is implying.
“Football and school need to be your only priorities right now, Jax. You have made commitments to this school and your team, and you have less than two years left to honor them. Right now, keep your focus on that. Everything else can wait. After graduation, you can decide what comes next.”
“Is that all? I have to go.”
My father nods once, and I turn to leave.
“Jax?” he calls.
I face him again.
“If you truly loved her, you wouldn’t want her to be your last priority. You would let her go until you were able to be there for her. You’ve made other commitments, Jax.”
“If you truly cared for me, you would leave me the hell alone. You’re the single worst drain on my life. This is my life, not yours. Sorry you fucked yours up, but that’s not my problem. Go home. Tell Mom I love her.”
I’ve stunned my father into silence.
I walk away from him before he can regain his senses. I’ve never made a habit of speaking back to my dad. I believe it is important to show parents respect, but he no longer has mine. I’m done.
I’m pissed that he and I are on the same page where Lily is concerned. It makes me sick that I agree with anything my father thinks. Truthfully, I guess I don’t agree with him. Unlike him, I don’t think that dating Lily negatively affects my life in any way. She’s the best thing in it. I actually think the opposite. My circumstances and I are a drain on hers.
I don’t remember the walk to the house, my mind flooded with unwelcome thoughts. I’m brought back to reality when a guy barrels into me before catching himself and taking a step back, raising the plastic cup in his hand.
“Jax Porter! Good game, man!” he cheers.
I thank him.
I start weaving my way through the crowd. I’m on a mission to find Lily and get out of here. It doesn’t take long before I spot her inside the house. Just seeing her calms my mind.
From behind her, I wrap my arms around her waist. She leans back into my chest, and I tighten my hold on her.
“There you are,” I say into her ear.
She turns, still wrapped in my embrace, until she’s facing me, and she puts her hands around my neck. “Great game. You were awesome, Jax.”
I smile. “Thanks. I’m glad you could be there.” I bend down, and my lips find hers.
The kiss is everything, like it always is with Lily, but it hurts, too. I know my time with her is fleeting.
“Let’s get out of here,” I say.
Lying next to Lily, I watch her sleep. Her lips are parted slightly as she breathes in and out. I study the spattering of freckles that she has across her nose. When we were young, when her freckles were the darkest during the summer, I’d play the Constellations game. It consisted of me drawing my finger over the small spots on her nose and cheeks, connecting them with imaginary lines to form a shape. Lily loved when I told her stories of her constellations.
“What do you see, Jax?” Lily asks with excitement, lying with her back against the hot sand. Her eyes close to block out the summer sun.
Leaning up on my arm, I scan her face. “Oh, I see one!” I drag my finger along her nose, connecting the dots.
“What do you see?”
“I’m drawing it now.” I finish sketching my imaginary lines on her skin. “It’s a flower—a lily.”
“Tell me the story.”
“Okay. So, once upon a time, there was this girl named Lily. She was seven, like us. She lived in a village far away. She was so pretty that all