Foreplayer (Rookie Rebels #4) - Kate Meader Page 0,102
“Did you mean it?”
“Every word.”
She rubbed her hand against his arm.
“Try not to get distracted by the sweater, Mia.”
“It’s hard to stop touching it. To stop touching you. But I’m still mad at you for not telling me … well, everything.”
“Vadim called, said you know about Tommy.” He had written the post an hour ago before he even knew that Mia was up to speed on Tommy the Asshole. He was on his way over when Vadim called to tell him Mia knew.
“I wish you could have told me, Cal.”
He wished it as well. “I didn’t want to make you choose. It would have killed me to tell you and then watch you still go for him. You were so sure that was what you wanted. I’ve had a front row seat to your drive and ambition, remember. Telling you what he did would be dirty pool.”
“How? How would that not have helped?”
“Either you’d pick him because that’s what you wanted anyway or you’d not pick him because we were friends, and I’d always wonder if I’d held you back from what you really wanted.” He inhaled the deepest breath of his life. “So … do you? Want him?”
Gordie Howe yapped and Mia picked him up and settled him on her other side, so she could snuggle in closer to Cal.
“What he said.”
“I don’t speak fur bundle.”
She smiled and reached for him, cradling his jaw. He resisted the urge to lean into that gentle touch. He didn’t deserve it yet.
“No, Cal, I do not want Tommy. I want you. I’ve wanted you since you showed up in Biddeford. Probably before that, when you kissed me, or when you stole my bacon, or made me laugh so hard I snorted. But I didn’t think you wanted me the way I wanted you.”
He closed his eyes and let himself feel gratitude for the universe. She wanted him. This woman wanted him.
When he opened them again, she was still here but something in her expression was troubled.
“What, Mia?”
“That kiss the night before my tryout and then again last night. Both times, I feel as if we were on the precipice of something truly amazing. Both times I needed you to be honest—”
“And I messed up. I know that. It—well, it was getting a little too real. With that first kiss I knew I was in trouble and after that last one, I knew I was probably not going to survive you, Mia. I was so pissed that you were still with him. I should have come clean. But that would have opened the floodgates and I was terrified you’d tell me he was your choice anyway.” He touched his forehead to hers. “Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever talked this much.”
“I love it. I love hearing what’s in here.” She splayed her hand over his chest. The words might be coming out of his mouth but they were forged deep in his soul.
“With you, my gorgeous girl,” He ran a thumb along her cheekbone. “With you, I feel exposed to the raw, bloodied heart of me. I’ve lived a life not wanting to say the hard parts aloud, not wanting to be honest because that type of reflection might tell me things I don’t want to know. That I’m not good enough for my parents, for a woman, for my team, for my friends. I want to tell you everything, even though it hurts to say it aloud. You see all these facets to me. You make me think about who I want to be. I want to be brave enough to strip away the mask. Brave enough to be worthy of your heart.”
“Cal,” she whispered. “I just see what’s already there.”
“I’m not sure about that. I just know that with you I feel like anything is possible. I’ve limited myself before in all my relationships because it was easier to keep things within bounds. Stay in my box. Don’t make waves. But then I see all you’ve achieved, the way you’ve fought to return to the sport you love, how brave you were to put yourself out there, even if it was to win the heart of someone who wasn’t me and definitely wasn’t worthy of yours. And what you did, standing up to Selena. You are a queen, Mia Wallace. This is your story and I’m happy to exist on the sidelines, tasting your shavings as you skate away from me.”
She sniffed and a glistening tear fell. “I’d rather we skate