A Fool's Gold Wedding - Susan Mallery Page 0,32

If she was much older, she wouldn’t be able to pretend all was well. Of course, if she was older, she liked to think she would have been smarter—able to spot liars like Joaquin and avoid them.

For the eight hundred and twenty-seventh time, she told herself she’d been a fool. She’d been trusting and dumb and had totally fallen for a guy who saw her as little more than a means to an end. She’d thought she was grandma’s secret guacamole recipe when in fact she was little more than an off-brand chip. She was disposable—at least in Joaquin’s life.

All of which she could handle—she might not have worked through a romantic heartbreak before, but she knew the process. There was anger and hurt and all the stages of grief, not in any particular order, plus sugar and carbs and throwing things and feeling like a failure and, eventually, moving on. She was prepared for all that—what she hadn’t expected was that she would be missing Joaquin so much. Worse, she was worried about him.

Ridiculous, but there she was—actively concerned about how he was going to get through the wedding. She knew large social crowds made him uncomfortable, and that being with her made him feel better. Not that she wanted him feeling better. She should want him run over by a truck, but instead here she was, hoping he was going to be okay, which made her doubly, triply stupid. Plus the dark circles.

She threw herself back on her bed and reached for her phone. There hadn’t been any phone calls and only a single text message. She opened it to read it, even though she already knew it by heart.

I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I was wrong and selfish. I should have told you the truth. I did come here to meet Simon and initially you were a means to an end. But all that changed as I got to know you. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I didn’t want to ruin what was, for me, the most wonderful relationship I’ve ever had. I was afraid, so I acted like a coward. The results are fully justified. My greatest regret is that you are being punished, too. You are the innocent party—you don’t deserve to be the least bit upset and I know you are.

I know that you are hurt and angry, and I deserve every horrible thing you’re thinking and saying about me. I have no excuse for what I did. If I could take it back, I would. As I can’t, I will only say that you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Being with you was a privilege and I will never forget our precious time together.

Please don’t assume every guy is as much of an asshole as I am. You deserve to be happy, Abby. I’m sorry.

He’d sent the message yesterday morning. At first she’d refused to read it, but eventually she’d given in. She’d spent the rest of the day wondering if it was as good an apology as it seemed to her or if she was simply hoping it was because she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Seeing him at the rehearsal had been torture. He’d looked so good and she’d missed him so much. She’d thought maybe they could talk at dinner, but then he’d left and she’d felt stupid all over again, even though she suspected he’d left so she wouldn’t have to deal with him in the first place, which made missing him so confusing.

“I’m never falling in love again,” she muttered, tossing her phone onto the bed. She sat up. “Not that I’m in love with Joaquin. I’m not. He’s toady and stupid and I hate him.”

She looked at the clock on the nightstand. She still had a couple of hours before she joined Melissa and their mom for mani-pedis and their hair appointments. Two hours to sulk and feel sorry for herself, knowing it was going to take a long time to get over Joaquin.

If only he hadn’t been so incredibly right for her, she thought glumly. Smart, but sweet. Funny and kind, and when he kissed her...

Tears filled her eyes. She blinked them away. The man was not tear-worthy.

She got up and decided to shower. As she was gathering her clothes together, there was a knock on her bedroom door.

“Abby, do you have a minute?”

“Yes.” She let in her mother.

Liz handed her a mug of coffee, then took a