I felt extremely violated; being scanned and searched for weapons and whatever else they thought I was smuggling in. My ID went from person to person—in the off chance I changed my identity from one room to the next. One guard called my name then escorted me into a room with a chair and a desk. A thick pane of Plexiglas between an identical set-up on the opposite side. Connection from one desk to the next was a single wall phone. The woman seated across from the spot I was directed to, was one I vaguely knew. Maybe having so many guards around to help escort you, wasn’t so bad, because I wouldn’t have recognized this woman as the one who gave me life.
Audrey has always been one of the most beautiful women that most had ever seen. This wasn’t even just my opinion because she was my mother. When she was in high school—before she went off the deep end—she was popular and voted most beautiful; best eyes, best smile. Audrey Hamilton was someone to be jealous of. She’d known where she was going and nothing was going to get in the way of that—at least before she’d met my father, Kole.
The two of them became one of the typical bad boy/good girl relationships and were irrevocably hooked on one another. They couldn’t stay away, even after my Gram forbid them to be together. My mother had gone to considerable lengths to hide their relationship until she ended up pregnant with yours truly. Here’s the weird part—my bad-boy-father became a wonderful dad. My mother was the one that hadn’t ever acclimated to the role. Well, to be fair my dad hadn’t always been wonderful, but he was better than her—in some ways.
I needed to push the idea of my father far from my mind—now was the time to deal with her not him.
In my memories she looked nothing like this. Her face was fuller, cheeks rosy, eyes brightened when she was happy, and then there was that smile that lit up a room. Thick blonde hair that flowed down her back with a sleek shine that celebrities paid top dollar to get.
That person was just a faint memory at this point. This woman in front of me was not her.
My mother’s once luxurious hair was stringy and looked to have a darker hue that could only be described as dirty. Her eyes didn’t shine with the smile that now looked alien on her sunken in cheeks bones and wan face. For just a moment, I could almost picture the mother I grew up with, but that image quickly faded. Forever replaced with the horror before me. My hand shook as I went to pick up the phone; the other was already to her ear.
“Dani!” She squealed into the phone.
“Oh, mom.” My heart was breaking just looking at her. I’ve seen enough anti-drug ads to know the effects of meth on someone’s features—but this was my mother. This wasn’t supposed to be happening to her!
She sensed the reason for my sad reaction, but not entirely. “Oh baby don’t worry, orange is so not my color, but it’s growing on me.” A polite smile surfaced, holding in my worry. Since I was a little girl, I had been the one that took care of her—whenever she was around, that is.
“How…how are you?” The words tripped from my mouth.
“I could really go for a cocktail.” Typical Audrey, make light of everything, while I sat there worried beyond reason for her.
“Mom…”
She began shaking around her mess of unkempt hair, before I could even get the words out. She’d always sensed when a disapproving lecture was on its way.
“I don’t want to hear it, Danielle. Listen, I haven’t seen my baby girl since you were in high school. Don’t make the first time we’re together again a bad memory.” My eyes darted around to the cold cement room surrounded by bars and cameras spying everywhere you looked. A frustrated sigh from my mother filled my ears, pulling my gaze back to hers.
“So baby, you find the place okay?”
“A friend drove me.”
She leaned on her elbows to come in closer. The move was so normal for a couple of girls gossiping at the mall. Which was exactly the image I tried to implant—instead of the reality surrounding us.
“A male friend perhaps?” How she knew was beyond me, but I nodded.
“Yes, a male friend.”
“Who?” Her pale blue eyes sparked with curiosity, reminding me just how easy