Fool - By Christopher Moore Page 0,10

a mechanism of death in itself.) The opening was barely wide enough to pass the flagon through; the plate would just fit through at the cross. I waited. No light came from inside the cell. A single candle on the wall across from the opening was the only illumination.

I was terrified. I listened, to see if I could hear the anchoress reciting novenas. There wasn't even the sound of breathing. Was she sleeping? What kind of sin was it to interrupt the prayers of someone so holy? I put the plate and ale on the floor and tried to peer into the darkness of the cell, perhaps see her glow.

Then I saw it. The dim sparkle of the candle reflecting in an eye. She was sitting there, not two feet from the opening. I jumped back against the far wall, knocking over the ale on the way.

"Did I frighten you?" came a woman's voice.

"No. No, I was just, I am - forgive me. I am awed by your piety."

Then she laughed. It was sad laughter, as if it had been held a long time and then let out in almost a sob, but she was laughing and I was confused.

"I'm sorry, mistress - "

"No, no, no, don't be sorry. Don't you dare be sorry, boy."

"I'm not. I won't be."

"What is your name?"

"Pocket, mum."

"Pocket," she repeated, and she laughed some more. "You've spilled my ale, Pocket."

"Aye, mum. Shall I fetch you some more?"

"If you don't want the glory of my bloody godliness burning us both down, you better had, hadn't you, friend Pocket? And when you come back, I want you to tell me a story that will make me laugh."

"Yes, mum,"

And that was the day that my world changed.

"Remind me, why is it we're not just murdering my brother?" asked Edmund. From whimpering scribblings to conspiracy to murder in the course of an hour, Edmund was a quick study when it came to villainy.

I sat, quill in hand, at the table in my small apartment above the great gatehouse in the outer wall of the castle. I have my own fireplace, a table, two stools, a bed, a cupboard for my things, a hook for my coxcomb and clothes, and in the middle of my room a large cauldron for heating and pouring boiling oil upon a siege force through gutters in the floor. But for the clanking of the massive chains when the drawbridge is raised or lowered, it is a cozy den in which to pursue slumber or other horizontal sport. Best of all, it is private, with a thumping big bolt on the door. Even among the nobles, privacy is rare, as conspiracy thrives there.

"While that is an attractive course, unless Edgar is disgraced, disinherited, and his properties willfully given to you, the lands and title could pass to some legitimate cousin, or worse, your father might set about trying to sire a new legitimate heir."

I shuddered a bit then - along with, I'm sure, a dozen maidens about the kingdom - at the mental vision of Gloucester's withered flanks, bared and about the business of making an heir upon their nubile nobility. They would be clawing at the nunnery door to escape the honor.

"I hadn't thought of that," said Edmund.

"Really, you, not think? How shocking. Although a simple poisoning does seem cleaner, the letter is the sharper sword." If I gave the scoundrel proper rope, perhaps he could hang for both our purposes. "I can craft such a letter, subtle, yet condemning. You'll be the Earl of Gloucester before you can get dirt shoveled on your father's still twitching body. But the letter may not do all."

"Speak your mind, fool. As much as I'd love to silence your yammering, speak."

"The king favors your father and your brother, which is why they were called here. If Edgar becomes betrothed to Cordelia, which could happen before the morrow - well, with the princess's dowry in hand, there'll be no cause for him to resort to the treachery we are about to craft around him. You'll be left with your fangs showing, noble Edmund, and the legitimate son will be all the richer."

"I'll see he is not betrothed to Cordelia."

"How? Will you tell him horrid things? I have it on good authority that her feet are like ferryboats. They strap them up under her gown to keep them from flapping when she walks."

"I will see to it that there is no marriage, little man, don't you worry. But you