A Flighty Fake Boyfriend (Men of St. Nachos #2) - Z.A. Maxfield Page 0,10

weekend off to stay in a posh hotel and attend an aristocrat’s wedding. There’s no downside—his words, not mine.”

“And here I thought you couldn’t surprise me.”

I opened my door and got into the car.

In truth, I’d surprised myself. This wedding had been a log jam in my peace of mind for almost six months. Everything that came before and after stood in stark contrast to the time I had to take off to attend, the worry finding the right date caused me, and the anxiety I felt about going.

Making the decision to throw my plans to the wind and invite someone entirely by chance broke that log jam. My life felt “in flow” again.

When we got to Daniel’s place, we talked for a bit more before heading to bed. I slipped between the sheets in the guest room without setting an alarm for the morning and had the most peaceful night I’d had in a long time.

Chapter Four

Thursday morning began like a lot of coastal mornings—with the sound of a foghorn in the distance and mist so thick it was nearly impossible to see. The worst of it burned off before Daniel, Cam, and I finished breakfast.

Dan and I drank more coffee on the porch while we watched Cam play with the animals under the guise of “getting a little exercise.”

It seemed a little sacred, the way Cam became a boy around his dogs. Despite his size, despite his thickly muscled body and beard shadow, Cam’s eyes lit with happiness every time he tossed a Frisbee and one of the dogs caught it. I could only imagine how lovely he would be with his children if he and Daniel decided to have any.

“You’re a lucky man, Daniel Livingston. Ever thought about having kids?”

“Actually, that’s the plan.” Daniel smiled softly. “We’ve been looking for a surrogate.”

“That’s wonderful.” I almost teared up. “You’ll be great dads.”

“Knock wood.” He tapped his knuckles lightly on the porch railing.

I picked up my bag to take it to the car. “I’ve got to get on the road. I promised Epic I’d pick him up at nine."

“Come here, you.” Cam ran over and threw his arms around me. It wasn’t enough he could crush me with a hug, but he lifted me into the air and swung me around. Despite the indignity, I liked that a lot more than I should have.

“Hey!” I made a weak protest.

“Don’t take so long to come visit next time,” Cam said sternly. “We’ve missed you.”

“I won’t.”

“And eat something. My God, that was like lifting a middle schooler.”

“I’m not that light.”

“You need to get some meat back on your bones.” Cam’s smile dazzled me a little.

“Take care of yourself,” Dan said, patting my shoulder.

“I hear you both. I promise.” I couldn’t look Dan in the eye. “I’ll do better.”

He hugged me hard. “Please do. We love you. You know that.”

“I do. Love you too.”

I opened the door of my car. “Bye!”

Cam threw the Frisbee so the dogs had to run in the opposite direction, then he gave me a big smooch on the cheek.

“Bye, Ry. Take a break before you go back to saving the world.”

“Will do.” I ducked into the car and started the engine. I waved a final time before I drove off. As their pleasant cottage got smaller in the rearview, I was subsumed by envy, which was so unusual for me I almost didn’t recognize it at first.

I attributed my emotions to missing their company and the peaceful home they’d built together, but at the core of my feelings was a sense of unbearable loss and a quagmire of whys—why did I pursue my professional goals to the detriment of my personal life? Why would a personal life have been so bad? Why couldn’t I have what they have?

The answer, as always, was because I wasn’t strong enough, or smart enough, or organized enough, or brave enough to have it all. If I had to choose, then what I did professionally was so much more important than anything I could do privately. It wasn’t even a contest for me.

Instead of bemoaning what I couldn’t have, I should have rejoiced in what I could. And sometimes, I was able to do just that. Sometimes a win on the international front—if we were to find the missing schoolgirls or cut the head off an operation that dealt in slave labor, then I could celebrate my choices.

It was only when I was at loose ends, like I was then, trying to