was hung up on my mistake. I couldn’t see past it even though everyone, including you, called me out on it. A week ago, Luke was waiting for me in my office and laid into me. He’s got a way with words. Being as such, he’s effective when he cuts you down to size.”
Addy’s eyes flared before they narrowed.
“What did he say?”
One more reminder of Addy’s protection. I figured my answer would be the difference between her being pissed at Luke if she didn’t like what he had to say, or seriously pissed if she felt he was out of line.
“Nothing I didn’t need to hear. But mostly he reminded me he was my brother, and as such, he’d never blame me for what happened. He called me a few names, got in my face about my attitude, and when he felt his message had been received and I harbored no guilt, he left.”
“Called you names?”
Admittedly, I’d thrown that part in there, testing my theory, and I’d been proven correct. Addy’s brand of protection—when that burned down my chest it felt a fuckuva lot better than guilt, so I let it settle before I smiled and hopefully got Luke off the hook.
“It’s a guy thing,” I told her. Then she needed to know one last thing so I told her that, too, “That wasn’t the first time one of the guys had cornered me to give me a dressing down. Though it was the first time Luke had come straight out and tackled the issue. But if he would’ve come at me two weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been ready to hear it. I would’ve listened but nothing he said would’ve penetrated.”
“What changed?”
My smile grew at her question.
“You’ve asked me that before and my answer hasn’t changed. You. I needed you. I have good friends. My brothers, they have my back. But other than that, I had no one. You’ve met my family so it won’t come as a surprise none of them have ever taken care of me. Even after I was hurt. Dad used that opportunity to remind me I wasn’t good enough, and me laid up in a hospital bed facing a medical discharge was proof. CJ was all too happy to take jabs at the military and joke about their shitty training when the doctor had told me I might lose my leg. My mom was crying, carrying on about my face and how her beautiful boy was ruined.
“Before I met you, never thought I’d find a woman to marry. Didn’t believe I’d find one that wasn’t a shallow, manipulating bitch. That’s all I’d known.
“Then you walked into my life when I was at my lowest, when I felt like my world had ended. I lost the Navy. I lost the opportunity to do work I was proud of. Beautiful, sweet, shy Adalynn Walker.”
I took her beauty in as she listened. “But I soon found out she’s not shy, not when she’s trying to break through and not when something means something to her. And the sweet I thought you were only gets sweeter when that fierce loyalty comes out. So it started the day I met you, it grew when you came into my office and got in my face about missing PT, it was near-consuming when you called me a quitter and told me to find a new therapist. But it was undeniable after the first time we made love and I asked you what you felt. You were so confused it tore away all the ugly that had been filling my head. When all you felt was me—not my scars—just me. That was all I needed to start letting go. And every day since then, it’s just drifted away without me knowing it was going.”
Addy was staring at me but she wasn’t seeing me, and wherever she’d gone in her head wasn’t a good place to be. Before I could ask what was wrong, she was blinking, seemingly coming back to the conversation. But what she said next made no sense.
“Define, destroy, or strengthen,” she whispered.
“What, baby?”
“You didn’t like the reminder of it.”
“Reminder of what?”
“Flesh and bone. A man like you wouldn’t like the reminder.”
What the fuck?
“That’s what Mom says,” she finished, and I still didn’t have the first clue what she was talking about.
But I didn’t get a chance to ask because she kept going.
“I didn’t have to do anything. You gave it to me and I didn’t have to ask.”