Flawed Heart: House Of Obsidian - Bella Jewel Page 0,9

more I think of it, the more I wonder if I should just go and see him. How can I possibly judge if he’s fit to be in Immy’s life if I’ve not even gone to find out for myself? That’s selfish, and I can’t afford to be selfish with her.

What will she think of me if she grows up not knowing her father because I was too scared to introduce them?

So I’ve come to a decision. Tonight I’m going to the House Of Obsidian. I’m going to go and check things out behind the scenes. I don’t want to make a big deal of it; I don’t even know if I’ll talk to Max. I just want to see the kind of life he’s living. I need to judge with my own eyes, and so that’s what I’m going to do.

I am sick to my stomach at the very idea.

Seeing Max again isn’t something I’m overly sure I can handle, but I’ve made the choice and I’m not backing down. Tina will be over any minute to look after Immy and I’m standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection, wondering if I need to wipe my make up off, or if I need to apply more. Why should it even matter? He’s not going to see me. I’m just going to check things out.

Right?

“There you are!”

I jump with a squeal and see Pippa standing in the doorway to my bedroom. She’s got the cutest pair of grey cotton shorts on, and her top has a giant, pink kitty on it. Only Pippa could make those kinds of things look amazing. Her blonde hair is thrown over one shoulder and she’s smiling at me, always smiling.

“Sorry.” She laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I press a hand to my heart. “Sorry, I was off in my own little world.”

She studies me. “You look gorgeous. Where are you going?”

“I’m . . .” I hesitate. “Going to see Max.”

Her eyes get big. “You are?” she breathes. “Why?”

I tell her how I’ve been feeling, and she listens the entire time, nodding softly every now and then. “I understand,” she says when I stop talking. “And I think you’re doing a really brave thing.”

I let out a long, draining sigh. “I hope so, Pip, because it doesn’t feel like it right now.”

She walks in and hugs me. “You’re making the right choice,” she reassures me. “Trust me.”

“Hey ladies.”

We pull apart and look to see Tina standing in the doorway. She looks a good deal like me; only her hair is blond instead of strawberry blond like mine. We have the same build, the same curves and the same eyes. Mom always said we should have been twins, because we’re so scarily similar. Even our personalities can tend to be the same. Though Tina can be feistier than me when she wants.

“Hey Tina.” I smile, walking over and hugging her. “Thanks for doing this.”

She waves a hand. “Anything to get you out and about.”

Pippa and I give each other a quick look, and I hope she understands that I haven’t told Tina the truth. She isn’t Max’s biggest fan, and if it were up to her, she’d never want me to see him again. Not that I can blame her; hell, it was because of him I moved away and left everything behind. I shut down, switched off, and it took years for me to start bonding with my family again, even though they’d done nothing wrong.

“Well,” I say, breaking the silence, “I’m going to get going. Tina, give me a call if Immy needs anything.”

She waves a hand. “Nonsense, we’ll be fine. Enjoy.”

I give them a quick wave and then rush into the living area to grab my heels and purse. I double-check myself in the mirror on the way out, decide it’ll do, and then rush out the door. I take a cab, just for safety’s sake. I’ll probably have a drink, purely because I’m so nervous I want to vomit. He won’t see me. He won’t. I’m just going there to see what is going on in his life. That’s all. It’s that simple.

Yeah, right. Nothing’s that simple.

I have already ordered a cab, so I jump in when it arrives five minutes later. I fidget in my tight black dress, wondering if it’s too much. What if it’s just a casual club now? It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. Pippa told me that it’s quite a nice