Flawed Heart: House Of Obsidian - Bella Jewel Page 0,61
help you with anything you need. I’m so sorry, Anabelle.”
I hug her again and give the guys a small wave. I get a range of nods back, but their eyes are sympathetic for me. I kneel down to Immy, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Are you going to be okay, sweetheart?”
“Yes, Mommy,” she grins. “I’m going to watch movies!”
She loves movies, so this makes her more than happy.
“That’s super great. I’m sure Aunty Pippa makes the best popcorn, too. Mommy will be upstairs, okay?”
She hugs me and then runs off, waving to the bikers, not at all worried by their presence. They all love her, and immediately start a conversation with her. Smiling and shaking my head, I hug Pippa and thank her again before walking upstairs and stepping into my room. My chest is tight; it feels as if it’s going to explode, but I fight past it and force myself into the shower.
The warm water does nothing to ease the pain in my heart. I see my mom’s beautiful smile, and hear her laughter, and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. God dammit, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Did she know I loved her? Did I tell her enough? I just want her back. I want five more minutes. I want to tell her I’m happy, that I’ll be okay.
I didn’t want her to die worrying.
And she did.
Tears explode from my eyes, and I’m so tired of them, but I can’t keep fighting the waterfall that needs to run free to ease the pain in my chest. So I cry. I cry until I’m gasping for air and my entire body is shaking. I cry so hard I don’t hear the door open, I don’t see the shower door move and I don’t notice anyone is there until the shower goes off and a set of hard arms curl around me.
I don’t stop crying. I don’t even fight.
A warm towel is pressed against my skin, and I bury my face into the cotton of the T-shirt that is covering a chest I love so much. There’s only one person brave enough to chase me when I storm out, and that’s the man I love so much. The only person who knows me better than anyone. The only person who understands me.
“Make it go away,” I sob violently. “Max, just make it go away.”
“Can’t do that, sweetheart,” he murmurs, sitting down onto the bed.
I curl my fingers into his shirt and tug over and over, just wanting it all to go away. He lets me; he lets me cling to his shirt until my knuckles are white. My body trembles in his arms and everything inside me aches so hard that I just want to claw at my own skin to make it stop.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye, Max.”
“Sometimes that happens, but she was prepared for it, Belle, and so were you.”
“I didn’t tell her I loved her.”
“You think she didn’t know that?”
“But I didn’t get to say it one last time.”
He squeezes me tightly. “There’s never a last time. You can tell her as many times as you want, even now.”
“She was worried for me, worried I wouldn’t be happy. I wanted her to die in peace.”
“She did, Belle.”
“No, she didn’t. I was a mess, Max. Always a damned mess, over you, over the things that went wrong . . .”
“She knew you’d be happy,” he says, his voice thick. “Because I told her you would be.”
I go still in his arms. “What?”
“I went and seen her, the day before she died. I wanted to—ah, I don’t fucking know, clear the air I guess.”
“You went to see her?” I whisper.
“Yeah, and when I was there, she told me a lot of things, but she asked me . . . she asked me to take care of you.”
“And you told her you would just to make her happy?”
“No, baby,” he says, clutching me tighter. “I told her because I fucking meant it.”
I start crying again.
“She told me that I was the only thing you’d ever want or need, and all she wanted before she went was to know you’d have what you deserved.”
“She thinks I deserved you?” I sob.
“Yeah, and she was right.”
“I don’t deserve you, Max. I don’t deserve anyone.”
“That ain’t the truth, Blue Belle, and you know it.”
“I don’t,” I cry out, jerking his shirt. “I let you push me away, and I