Flawed Heart: House Of Obsidian - Bella Jewel Page 0,46
around himself and let him know that he can be what she needs. I understand why he doesn’t believe it, but I believe it and that’s enough. So I start talking, without even thinking.
“She was only five pounds born,” I say softly, my voice warm for my daughter. “So tiny, and yet she came into this world screaming, letting everyone know she had a place.”
His body flinches, but he doesn’t look at me.
“By the time she was one, she had everyone wrapped around her little finger. She was strong, and determined, and so damned happy you couldn’t not love her.”
He starts panting.
“When she turned three, she beat up the neighbor’s kid because he called her ugly.” I laugh at the memory of her punching into the little boy. Of course she got into trouble for it, but I was so proud of her. “Do you know what she said to him?”
Max looks over to me now.
“She said ‘Only an ugly person would say something like that’.”
Max’s lip twitches.
“I’d told her, even from a young age, that people that are horrible are the true ugly of the world, and I never thought she got it until that day.”
His eyes study my face.
“She’s more like you than you could begin to imagine. She’s feisty, strong, frustrating, and so fucking beautiful it hurts.”
He swallows hard.
“And she deserves you in her life, Max. It was never my place to decide you couldn’t have that.”
“You made a choice, and it was probably a fucking smart one.”
I stare at him, really studying his face. “If you really don’t want to be in her life, I’ll leave, Max. I’ll see my mother out, and then I’ll go back to my life. But I want you to be sure about that, because while you’re living in pain, that little girl is wondering who you are. I’ll let you decide if she gets the chance to know you.”
With that, I turn and walk to the door.
“And Max?” I say when I get there.
He looks over to me, his eyes so full of pain.
“You never had to be scared of snuffing out the light in my eyes, because in case you didn’t know . . . you were the reason that light was there.”
I walk out to the sound of his pained groan.
He gets me.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THEN – MAX – AFTER THE ACCIDENT
It’s been two weeks.
Two weeks since that little girl was taken from this world in the cruelest way possible. Two weeks since her little life was cut short.
I went to the funeral and watched from behind the trees as they said goodbye to a family that seemed to have very little love. There were only five people there. Five. In all their lives, they only have five people that loved them. Nobody should live without that kind of love. No one. Not even the scum of the earth.
“Hey.”
I lift my head from the coffee mug I was staring at, and see Belle coming in. She smiles at me, and it takes everything inside for me to smile back, but I do. I’ve been smiling at her for weeks, trying to get on with life. We’ve been trying for a baby, and I can see the happiness in her eyes. I make her happy. I’m everything to her. I’m her husband – I swore I’d protect her and that’s what I’m doing.
“Morning, Blue Belle.”
“How’d you sleep?”
Shit. Horrible. I don’t sleep.
“Awesome. You?”
She beams. “Awesome. You want more coffee?”
“Nah, I gotta run. It’s time for work.”
She frowns, but walks over and tilts my head up, kissing me softly. “I packed lunch for you last night. Will you be home earlier?”
I look up into her eyes, trying to keep the pain out of mine. “Yeah, baby.”
“I miss you when you’re gone.”
I kiss her and stand. “And I miss you, Blue Belle.”
I wrap a hand around the back of her neck and kiss her forehead. She sighs into me.
Then I let her go and leave.
Empty and numb.
~*~*~*~
I can’t handle it anymore.
I’m trying. It’s too hard.
Not even the alcohol is numbing it tonight.
It’s been four weeks, and I’m trying too hard to act normal, to act like I don’t see that little girl’s face in my dreams every night. I can’t get it out. It hurts so fucking much and I’m drowning. I’m drowning faster than I can swim.
I’m trying to keep my wife happy, to not let her see me breaking apart. I spend more time here than at home, just to stop her