over and placed her fingertips on Doug’s eyes, whispering a blessing. The sound told me she was tired too, so tired. I thought about all the unknowns of the next few days, and the long journey facing us, and I figured I’d have to wait a little to talk to her about Kraken. She needed some rest.
I just hoped she would understand my snooping. And that I wasn’t leaving it too late.
Even though it was late, I called my Dad from the phone at the hospital (no cells allowed) to tell him I was going away again. Because I always keep him posted on my movements, and maybe also because I wanted to hear his voice, warm and reassuring. He had a phone in his cell, so I knew he’d answer. And he must have heard something in my voice, because he chuckled down the line at me, sounding so close and so dear that I felt my throat constrict at the sound.
“So you found it then?” It was a question, but really more of a statement.
“Found what, Dad?”
“Your courage. I seem t’ remember you were looking for it when you came by here a coupla days ago.”
No way. I felt more scared than I’d ever felt in my life at this point. Rushing into burning buildings had nothing on the fear I was feeling. But I did know one thing. I’d be screwed if I was going down without a fight.
“Nah,” I said shortly, hoping he wouldn’t hear the tremor in my voice as I thought about how the things I was most afraid of had started to come to pass. Hurting people I love. Realizing I’ve got to save people, and that I don’t know how.
I thought about Doug, strung out and hurting in the room down the corridor.
And me, not able to stop the tide of hurt.
Dad paused, and then laughed again. “You’re wrong, y’know, bella. I can hear it in your voice. You gotta remember, courage doesn’t mean you’re not scared. Courage just means you feel the fear and do it anyway. Like those motivational fuckwits say. I can hear it in your voice. You’re off to do it, aren’t you?”
I paused a moment, considering his words. “Yeah,” I agreed.
A pause, and then he asked. “Am I allowed to know what it’s all about?”
“Nah, Dad. Sorry.”
I so wanted to tell him. Empty my brain of all the things I was carrying, all the things I was trying to make right for everyone, and just lean on his solid strength.
But how could I? Where to start?
Well, Dad, it’s like this. You always knew we were kind of different, and hey guess what? We’re actually mermaids, and you see, some bad-ass is stealing people, and trying to kill me, and oh yeah, they just fried Doug so bad he’s drooling crazy at the hospital. I need to save them all, and the world while I’m at it. Otherwise say good-bye to your baby girl. But hey, don’t worry, nothin’ you can do about it. See ya in a coupla days!
How could I lay that crap on him and then leave him there to worry and fret about it all?
Like he could read thoughts too, he said, “‘Cause, y’know, if y’need help, I’ll come.”
“Come?” I was confused. “Dad, in case it’s escaped your attention, you’re in jail.”
“Ah,” he honked. “What’s jail? Just a place. Not so hard if my baby girl needs me.”
But I couldn’t take Dad where I was going. So I shook my head and tried to harden up.
“Dad, honestly, it’s fine. It’s no big deal.”
I could hear him waiting, weighing up what I was saying. “’Kay, sweets, but remember, the offer’s there. No four walls in the world could hold if you needed me. Y’know that, right?”
“I know it, Dad,” I said, shaking off my melancholy and trying to sound cheerful. “Really, everything’s fine.” I corrected myself quickly because I find it had to lie to Dad. “Everything’s going to be fine, anyway.”
Chapter Thirteen
Leaders and Listening
Day Five: The Place of Light, Aegira
“Ah, and here’s The Golden One. You always did have to make an entrance, Lunia.” Kraken’s still-boyish blue eyes twinkled in his smooth, handsome face, and settled on us as we spilled from nowhere into the meeting, naked and semi-conscious.
“Kraken,” the Queen silenced him with a steely glare. “Lunia is my invited guest. Late she may be, but we will give her time to collect herself before we continue.”