The First Taste (Slip of the Tongue #2) - Jessica Hawkins Page 0,24
he asks.
I look down into the bubbles. Reggie’s infidelity is no secret, but there’s no room for it in this tub. It’s too heavy, too much, for a fling. For a vanilla bubble bath. For Andrew to take on when it isn’t his problem. I shake my head. I mean that I don’t want to talk about it, but if he misunderstands, I won’t correct him.
“You said you’re getting a divorce, but you didn’t say why. If that’s not the reason, what is?”
“Andrew, please. We’re having a nice time.”
“What kind of husband was he?”
I sigh, frustrated. Normally, I’ll take any chance to bash Reggie, but this feels less like a defense mechanism and more like opening up. I’m already naked at his mercy as it is. “The distracted kind.”
Finally, Andrew shuts up. I don’t know what I expected him to say, just that I expected him to say something. When I tell women about Reggie’s affair, they react different ways. Some apologize, as if we’ve done something wrong just by being women. Some launch into their personal experiences with cheating—that usually comes with anger. I’m the second type—I launch and rage.
Men, though, are different. They usually gloss over it when I bring it up, an anecdote they didn’t ask for.
“Let’s not talk about it,” I say. “It’s okay.”
“Distracted,” Andrew says after a few seconds, as if he’s still registering the word. “Meaning . . .?”
“It’s okay,” I say. “Let’s change the subject.”
“Maybe it is okay, maybe it’s not. When you say distracted,” he presses, “you mean by other women?”
I bend my knees, breaching the scalding water in an attempt to cool off a little. It doesn’t help. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it, but everything so far tonight has been just right. I don’t want Reggie to ruin it. I don’t want Andrew’s reaction to ruin it by disappointing me. “He cheated on me,” I say. “With one woman that I know of. But it went on for almost a year.”
“A year?” Andrew raises his voice, startling me. “Are you kidding?”
“Kidding . . .?” I ask, unsure what he means. “It was an affair.”
He tightens his hold, tension cording his forearms. “An affair. For a year. Asshole.”
“Yes, he is.”
“Coward.”
I try to look back at him, confused, but I can’t see his expression. His reaction isn’t just unexpected; it’s intense. His body changes under mine, curling around me like a shield. Is he telling me what I want to hear? If so, why bother? “Reggie’s insecure, yes. It makes him weak, and it’s the source of his mistakes.” In business, in relationships, in life, Reggie always takes the shortcut, never puts all his cards on the table. He doesn’t give if he doesn’t think he can get. “How’d you know?”
“What other explanation is there?” Andrew asks. “He was scared. On some level, he knew he didn’t deserve you. Right?”
“I’m not sure if it runs as deep as that for him.”
“He hurt you before you could hurt him. It’s the only explanation,” he says again.
“It is?” I wrinkle my nose. In a way, it makes sense. Reggie doesn’t like to lose. He once secretly slandered a colleague who’d been up for the same promotion as him—and had never been caught. It is possible, whether he knew it or not, Reggie was threatened by the distance that’d been growing between us before he’d strayed. “Have you been cheated on?” I ask. “You seem to know a lot about it.”
“No, but what other reason is there? Clearly he didn’t find anyone better.”
I allow myself a small smile. “That’s sweet of you to say. Really.”
“It pisses me off,” he says, as if he didn’t hear me. “I don’t have personal experience with cheating, but people close to me do.”
Most likely, Andrew thinks because I’m Sadie’s boss, I don’t know her situation. Sadie continues to insist her husband never cheated on her, but I’ve heard that same thing from friends who later came crying back to me when they finally saw the truth. “You mean Sadie,” I say.
“You know about that?”
“Yes. Well, not the details, but I know a woman who’s been broken by a man when I see one, and that’s what Sadie was six months ago. She was a wreck. I don’t know how they got through his infidelity.” I shake my head. “How do you stay civil with him? Don’t you want to wring his neck?”