Masha considered this gravely for a moment. Then she said, "But you said fear is good."
"I said it was normal," Amara replied. "Everyone feels afraid. Especially when something bad happens. But you can't let that scare you into quitting."
"But you quit doing Cursor stuff for the First Lord," Masha pointed out.
Amara felt her smile fade.
Behind Masha, Bernard rubbed studiously at his mouth with one hand.
"That was different," Amara said.
"Why?"
"For a lot of reasons you might not understand until you're older."
Masha frowned. "Why not?"
"Come on," Bernard rumbled, stepping in. He lifted the child into the air as lightly as a piece of down and put her on the pony's saddle. He was a big man with wide shoulders, his dark hair and beard streaked with threads of silver. His hands were large, strong, and scarred with a lifetime of work - but for all of that, he was as gentle with the child as a mother cat with her kittens. "One more time around the ring, like before," he said calmly. "Then we'll need to go get some lunch."
Masha gathered up the reins and bit her lower lip. "Can I go slow?"
"That's fine," Bernard said.
Masha clucked her tongue and began walking Ajax along the outside wall of the ring, her back practically bending backward in its efforts to stay straight. Her toes rested on the pony's ribs.
"Well?" Amara asked quietly, once the child was several yards away.
"Isana's coming."
"Again? She was here three days ago."
"Senator Valerius has managed to put together a quorum of the Senate," Bernard said. "He's planning on challenging the legitimacy of Septimus's marriage."
A bad taste went through Amara's mouth at the words, and she spat on the ground. "There are times when I wish you'd hit that egomaniac quite a bit harder."
"There was a lot of confusion during the rescue," Bernard said. "And Valerius wouldn't shut up. Interfered with my thinking." He pursed his lips, and mused, "I'll do better next time we're in that situation."
Amara let out a small snort and shook her head, watching Masha ride. "Bloody crows," she growled a moment later through clenched teeth. "Even now, with everything at stake, these idiots are playing their games. They'll still be doing deals under the table when a bloody vordknight tears them to shreds - as if the vord are some kind of transitory inconvenience!"
"They have to pretend that," Bernard said. "Otherwise, they'd be forced to admit that they were fools not to listen to the warnings we tried to give them five bloody years ago."
"And that would be terrible," Amara said. She thought about the situation for a moment. "If Valerius is successful, it gives Aquitaine every excuse he needs to keep the crown, even i... even when Octavian returns."
Bernard grunted agreement.
"What are we going to do?"
"Talk to my sister," Bernard said. "Figure out which Senators might be swayed to our side." Masha and Ajax had nearly completed their slow circuit of the ring. "How is she?"
"She was smiling earlier," Amara said. "Joking. Almost laughing."
Bernard let out a rumbling sigh. "Well. That's something good today, at least. If we could win that much every day, it would add up."
"It might," Amara said.
He looked at her obliquely, then gently covered her hand with his. "How are you doing?"
She tightened her fingers on his, feeling their gentle strength, the rough texture of his work-hardened skin. "A woman whose death warrant I practically signed has charged me with protecting and rearing her child. Less than a day after she did, I killed Masha's father. And every night, when she has nightmares, the little girl comes running to me to make her feel better." Amara shook her head. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about that, love."
Masha looked up at Amara as she came closer. She made sure her back was straight, and her smile was in equal measure chagrined and proud.
Amara found herself smiling back. She couldn't help it.
In the face of looming terror, the child's smile was a victory banner of its own.
Bernard looked between the two of them and nodded, his eyes bright. "Why don't you fly her back to Garrison? I'll lead Ajax, and we'll meet 'Sana in my office."
Amara looked at her husband and gave him a slow and gentle kiss on the mouth. Then she started walking toward Masha, tugging on her leather flying gloves as she went. The little girl noticed, and cheered.
Amara thought about her husband's words and pursed her lips thoughtfully.