gone from booty calls to wanting so much more. Despite her bravado, I think she’d love what she once had with Tony, and what I have with Alex. She went out on a date almost every night last week, but didn’t like any of them. She says she doesn’t want another Christmas alone, but I tell her a lot of it is down to luck, the right man, the right time and all that.
As much as I’d like to share my happiness with my best friend, I try not to push it in her face. Sometimes I find it easier to talk about Alex to Sameera, because she’s loved up too and we can forgive each other for boring the world about our boyfriends. Last week, I told her how he leaves little notes around the house saying how much he loves me, and she squealed with delight.
Harry overheard and started smirking. ‘I could leave you guys notes around the office if you like?’ he said. ‘They could say things like, “Stop gossiping and get on with your work.”’
‘Mmm, perhaps not, eh?’ I giggled. ‘But, Harry, don’t you ever leave romantic notes for Gemma?’
‘No.’ He shook his head as if it was the most ridiculous thing he’d heard, and Sameera and I laughed. If it hadn’t been for Jas, he wouldn’t even have asked Gemma out. She’s quite the matchmaker and perhaps she’d be more accepting of Alex, if she’d literally put us together. I know she saw him on the app, but it isn’t quite the same, and she isn’t as invested as she might have been.
Her criticism of Alex isn’t something I should take personally, though. Jas needs my friendship and support, she probably always will, so if it means swapping a night of peace and quiet at home to spend the evening laughing in a wine bar with her, then it’s a no-brainer.
Over dinner at his, I tell Alex I’m going to spend a couple of nights at my flat this week while he’s working late. ‘I thought Wednesday and Thursday – I know you’re busy too, it would be good for both of us to give some time to work,’ I say.
‘But I love having you here. We can work together in the evenings?’ he says, and I smile at the glimmer of a sulking bottom lip.
‘Alex, I love being here, but I need to make sure my flat’s okay, and you’re going to be working late and I’ve really got loads of work too and…’ I feel a sense of rising panic just thinking about Chloe. She’s still in temporary accommodation, but for how long? I called her mum, Carol, who in truth, seemed concerned about her daughter, and was at least able to talk to me without snarling. But when I asked what she knew about Chloe being in a relationship, she said she had an idea, and even hinted it might be one of Chloe’s teachers. She was adamant that nothing was going on with her own boyfriend Pete, and took offence at my extremely subtle suggestion that Pete might be the one getting too close to her daughter. Carol did say she felt bad for kicking her daughter out, but complained that ‘she caused trouble’ between her and Pete. She said she hated the idea of her sleeping rough and would like her to go home, but when I rang Chloe with the good news she refused. And I’m convinced her not going home has something to do with this older man she’s been seeing.
Meanwhile, there’s a boy of thirteen called Jack, who is worrying me. We’ve been contacted by the family GP who suspects he’s being physically abused by his father. I’ve visited the home, the family’s now on our radar, but the boy isn’t telling us anything. That’s the problem working with families, even if you’re there to help you’re the outsider – they tend to protect each other, even when that ‘protection’ leads to harm – or worse. Perhaps that’s why I chose this career, I’ve always been outside looking in – my experience as the outsider allows me to observe a family unit objectively. But with individuals it’s different, my days are tied up with horrible little knots of life that need undoing, and some days my head is filled with a montage of abuse and hurt and suffering. That’s what I need to detach from, that’s why Jas, quite rightly, says I need to detach. But on