you mustn’t be worried if I don’t answer immediately. There must be twenty texts here,’ I say, holding out my phone.
He shrugs. ‘But if you don’t answer, what am I expected to think?’
‘That I’m out enjoying myself and that’s why I’m not answering?’ I’m trying to be firm, but it isn’t easy as I’m aware the room’s spinning slightly.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it annoyed you.’ He sits back on the bar stool.
‘It doesn’t – but I’m out with my friends. If I answered every text and responded to every call, I wouldn’t get a chance to join in would I?’
‘Just go back to your friends and “join in” then. I’ll go home, you clearly don’t want me spoiling your night.’ He turns away and faces the bar, as if he can’t bear to look at me.
‘Oh, Alex, stop playing the victim. All I’m saying is you can trust me… That’s what this is about, isn’t it? Helen hurt you and you’re expecting me to do the same.’ I lean back on the bar to face him, pushing my face into his rather inelegantly, my spatial awareness impaired by prosecco.
‘Actually, it isn’t about me not trusting you,’ he says, pulling away from me.
‘Oh, so what then? Did you think Helen had got me down a dark alley? I can defend myself,’ I half joke.
‘Thing is… she was here tonight.’
‘Here? In the bar… this bar?’ I’m finding it hard to speak.
‘That’s why I’ve been trying to call and message you all evening. I saw on the app that she was in the area, probably this bar but of course it’s not that accurate. I was worried she might do something.’ This feels like a sharp slap through the alcohol haze. I’m aware this is bad news but can’t articulate how I feel. Then my legs start to buckle.
‘Is she… is she here now?’ I gaze around, but everything’s blurry.
‘No, it was earlier,’ he says.
I’m now leaning on him as he sits on the bar stool, aware I should really stand up unaided, but not sure I can.
Alex holds me gently by the upper arms. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m not sure.’ I’m upset by what he’s just told me. I’d hoped it was all over, that she’d moved on. But in my drunken state I’m unable to comprehend what it all means, or even form words.
‘You can see why I had to be here can’t you? I was so worried,’ he’s saying. ‘I think it best if we get out of here, I’ll drive you to mine when you’re ready.’
Even feeling like I do, I’m aware he’s taking over, making decisions about what I’m going to do. But I can’t let him. ‘I can’t just abandon everyone,’ I say.
‘You don’t have to, I said when you’re ready. I’ll just wait here for you until you’ve finished with your friends.’ He discreetly glances over at our table, adding, ‘I care about what happens to you, unlike your boss, who’s giving us daggers.’
‘Is she?’ I turn quickly to look, and catch Jas’s eye.
She mouths, ‘Are you okay?’ and I nod. Then she turns back to chat with Sameera.
I turn to Alex, who’s smirking. ‘See?’ he says.
‘She’s only checking if I’m okay, she’s not giving us daggers.’
He shrugs and orders me a drink, a large glass of Merlot, but I’m currently sharing a second bottle of prosecco with Jas and I told her I’d be back in a minute. I realise that we’ve gone from me being out with my friends and going back to my place to him being here, drinking with me and planning to go back to his. I feel like protesting, but at the same time, I’m feeling very tipsy and if Helen’s on the prowl, the last place I want to be tonight is at my place on my own.
I glance back at my friends. Jas is really animated about something, and Sameera’s looking doubtful, and it makes me think how strong Jas can be – and how manipulative. She’s probably convincing Sameera to change her whole wedding colour scheme, or the honeymoon. Jas really does love to be involved in everyone’s business, and where I’ve always thought it’s because she cares, Alex has made me see her from a different perspective. He says she likes to be in control, arranging everything and everyone around herself. I hadn’t realised this before, but tonight, for instance, she chose the venue, the timing for the meal, and even ordered a round of Porn