about me enough to bring me lunch, no one’s ever done that for me before, no one’s ever cared enough about whether I’ve eaten or not. Even my mother. And yes, it’s slightly inappropriate, and to everyone else it might even be a bit weird, but how can I deny this man? I know it’s a thoughtful gesture. And I do have to eat.
I reach out and touch his hand, then start to eat the food he brought to share with me. I try to ignore the looks passing between Sameera and Harry. I particularly ignore Jas’s obvious glances through the glass. She knows my workload today and like me is probably wondering how the hell I’m going to finish it on time to go out tonight. But I’m entitled to a lunch break, and Alex can be trusted in our office of secrets – he’s not a criminal, he’s a bloody lawyer, for God’s sake.
After we’ve eaten, he carefully tidies away the wrappings into the carrier bag. I hate to say it, but I’m glad it’s over because I’ve felt under scrutiny by the others the whole time. I don’t blame them, it’s been quite the spectacle I’m sure. But now I watch him wiping crumbs from my desk and feel mean, for not appreciating him more. He’s only done this for me, to make me feel special, loved, and it’s all I ever wanted, so why can’t I be grateful for that and stop worrying how it looks to everyone else? He catches me watching him and he smiles, a kind and genuine smile, and I remind myself that despite the recent revelations about Helen, he isn’t a bad person. He doesn’t tell lies exactly – he just doesn’t always tell me what he thinks might hurt me. I should be flattered that such a lovely guy would be bothered to do all this for me, and I’m sure that behind their smirks, and glances, both Sameera and Jas would love partners who did such thoughtful things.
Alex is standing by my desk now, and I stand up to walk him out, but before I can move, he puts an arm around my waist.
‘Alex,’ I murmur, ‘if Jas sees she’ll be really pissed off.’
‘Why?’ he whispers in my ear. ‘You’re my girlfriend.’ His eyes are twinkling, he’s amused by this, and he brings me in for a kiss. A long, lingering kiss on the lips, which I have to reciprocate.
‘You’re pushing it,’ I whisper under my breath, smiling.
‘She’s not my boss,’ Alex says as he holds me by the waist with one hand, and waves to her through the glass with the other.
In response, she lifts her hand in a half-hearted wave, and I give her an awkward smile while walking him out.
‘I can feel the resentment emanating from her office,’ he’s saying as we walk to the door. ‘She’s so jealous – like she can’t accept that she’s not number one in your life any more.’
‘She’s not jealous…’ I murmur.
‘Believe me, she is – that woman is obsessed with you,’ he hisses.
I turn around and glance back to her office, to see Jas watching me through the glass.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
After I’ve said goodbye to Alex, I go back into the office to find Harry and Sameera deep in discussion. Tellingly, they go quiet as I sit at my desk.
‘He seems nice,’ Sameera eventually pipes up. Someone has to say something, it’s the elephant in the room.
‘Yeah, he’s lovely,’ I say. ‘I hope him being here wasn’t too distracting,’ I add. She shakes her head. But clearly it was.
‘Oh my God, what the hell was that?’ Jas’s voice booms from her glass cage, as she wanders out into the main office. ‘Has your butler gone now?’
The others laugh, and I smile but prickle slightly; they’re laughing at Alex.
Jas gestures towards the door with her thumb. ‘Bloody hell, what’s he like? Turning up like the royal butler with his picnic hamper for Princess Hannah.’ She laughs again, and the other two giggle.
‘Yeah sorry, I didn’t know he was bringing lunch,’ I say, still not joining in on the hilarity.
‘Lunch? It was a bloody banquet – and did you see him sniffing the loaf?’ She picks up my stapler and puts it to her nose while the others crease up laughing.
I don’t laugh. For the first time ever in this little group of people I spend most of my life with, I feel like I don’t belong.