First and Forever (Heartache Duet #2) - Jay McLean Page 0,88

But that doesn’t mean I leave her side. Not for a second am I ever more than a few feet away. When she sleeps, I try to, too. But I can’t. I worry, and that worry turns to panic, turns to dread. Because what if…

What if they can’t cut Miss D a deal?

What happens to her?

What happens to Ava?

Trevor and Peter are in and out of the house, on and off the phone, and I feel useless. I feel like I should be doing more than having one-way conversations with a girl who can barely look at me. A girl who needs magic and can’t find it in the person who promised it to her.

She sees me.

I know she does.

But she sees through me.

And that’s almost worse than being ignored.

I don’t go to school, and nobody asks why. They already know. People come by, mainly people I don’t know. Trevor closes the door to Ava’s bedroom whenever they’re here. He doesn’t want her hearing what they have to say, and she doesn’t seem to care about the secrets they’re keeping.

Rhys and Karen show up, too, and they look at Ava, then they look at me, and the only thing we can see in each other is helplessness.

On the third day, Amy—Trevor’s girlfriend—arrives. She seems to be the only one who can talk Ava into eating—not much—but it’s enough to settle the worry I’d been carrying around for days.

I just wish it could’ve been me to get her to that point.

Miss Turner comes over, and for the first time, Ava seems to come to.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Miss Turner says, standing in the doorway of her bedroom. “I’ve been waiting for your call. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me.”

“I do,” Ava whispers, nodding as her eyes fill with tears. It’s the most she’s given anyone, and I try to push aside the jealousy, but it’s there… bubbling beneath the surface.

“Did you want to talk?” Miss Turner asks her.

Ava nods again, her eyes shifting to me, before going back to Miss Turner.

Miss Turner turns to me, a pitiful smile gracing her lips. “Can you give us a minute, Connor?”

I drop my gaze. “Sure.”

She rubs my arm. “Don’t take it personally.” It’s the same thing Rhys told me about Ava when we first met. It didn’t help me then, and it sure as hell doesn’t help me now.

I look over at Ava. “I’m going to go home and grab a change of clothes. I’ll be right back, okay?”

She lowers her gaze.

And then I ask something I’ve been wondering for days but have been too afraid to ask, too fearful of her answer. “Do you want me to come back, Ava?”

“Of course, she does,” Miss Turner answers for her. She sighs and whispers, her words only for me, “This isn’t about you, Connor. And you need to accept that.”

Ava

In my desk drawer lives a receipt.

A receipt for room service.

Signed by one Connor Ledger.

The date on the receipt is the same as my birthday.

In my mind,

I make excuses for why he lied to me about where he was.

In my heart,

I blame myself for not being enough.

The receipt is from a hotel in North Carolina.

It’s just one night in Georgia,

Connor said,

It’s press for the All-American team.

In my mind,

I wonder how he could so easily lie to my face.

But in my heart,

I already know.

Under my bed lives a plastic jar.

A jar filled with fake fireflies.

When the world is at its darkest,

that’s when the magic appears,

my mom says.

So, in my mind,

I wish for the magic to be true, to be real.

But in my heart,

I believe that magic is dead…

Just like Connor’s love for me.

Chapter 36

Ava

My living room is a constant whirlwind of people, some I barely know. If Mom were here, she’d hate it.

I hate it.

Connor lies in my bed, holding me to him as if he’s somehow comforting me, protecting me.

I hate that, too.

“Ava?” Trevor says, poking his head in the door.

It takes everything in me to open my eyes.

“The lawyer’s here. Leo Preston, too. They want to talk to you about your mom.”

I settle my head on the pillow again, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Next to me, Connor sits up, takes my hand in his. He looks down at me, eyebrows raised. An encouraging smile flickers across his lips. “You should go talk to them, babe. It might be good news.” His eyes hold the same amount of adoration and compassion from back when he loved me, and I wonder when it was precisely