First and Forever (Heartache Duet #2) - Jay McLean Page 0,101

room, on her bed. I sit up higher and watch, my eyes transfixed as she uncaps a bottle of pills and pours the entire content onto her palm.

So many pills.

My heart races as I watch her look up, not at the camera, not at anything really. When her gaze lowers, she lifts her hand, inspecting… and then she tilts her head back, raises her palm to her mouth and I…

I can’t breathe.

Can’t see through the tears as I watch hope die and heartache unfold…

“Ava?” Trevor knocks on her door.

I let out a breath.

Ava coughs up the pills back onto her palm, then rushes to shove them all under her pillow, hiding them from him. “Yeah?”

I hear Trevor open the door. “Hey, you got an A+ in English?” he asks her.

Ava nods, forces a smile.

“Damn, girl,” says Trevor, pride clear in his tone. “I don’t know how you do it, Ava. Take care of your mom and me and still manage to get these grades. It’s ridiculous how proud I am of you.”

Ava’s blink is slow. “Thanks.”

A beat passes before I hear the door latch again, and I see Ava’s shoulders drop, her chest rising. She whispers to a Trevor who’s no longer there, “I do it all for you.” And then she breaks down, and I break down with her as I watch those small hands of hers cover her face, her sobs. Her shoulders wrack with each of her cries, and she reaches under the pillow again, both hands scooping up the pills. She moves off-screen, but I know she’s dumped them in her trashcan, and she returns to her bed with her phone to her ear. “Miss Turner?” she sobs. “I’m sorry for calling so late, but you said—”…“I’m having those thoughts again.”…“The dark ones.”

I jolt when my phone vibrates in my hand, cutting off the video. Wendy flashes on the screen, and contempt flashes inside me. “Yeah?” I answer.

“Hi, Connor.” I realize now that I could go the rest of my life never remembering my mother’s voice and I’d never miss it. Not for a second. “How have you been?”

Where to start? “What’s going on?”

She clears her throat. “I guess we’re done with pleasantries, then?”

“Honestly, I don’t really have much to say to you anymore.”

“Okay,” she says. Then pauses a beat. “I accept that.”

I stay quiet. She doesn’t really have a choice.

“Connor,” she says with a sigh. “Do you have a lawyer?”

“No. Why?”

“Because you’re going to need one…”

Chapter 43

Connor

I get to school early the next morning because I have things to say, and I know the person I want to say them to will be ready to hear them.

It only takes a few seconds for Miss Turner to call out, “Come in,” after I knock. She smiles when she sees me, and I don’t know her well enough to know if it’s genuine or not. After what I saw in the video last night, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she blames me for Ava leaving.

I ask, “Are you scheduled to meet with someone or…”

“Well, this was Ava’s time with me, so no.” She points to the seat opposite her. “Is this a sit-down or stand-up type of conversation we’re about to have?”

I sit down.

She nods once. “Good.”

I ask, not wanting to play games, “I know that you’re not going to tell me what I want, but can you at least tell me if she’s okay?”

“She’s okay, Connor. Her mom’s getting the care she needs, and so is she,” Miss Turner answers, her tone gentle. “I promise you that.”

I slump farther in my seat, get comfortable. “She said you were trying to help her get her mom into a place near Duke?”

“Yeah, I was,” she responds, a smile playing on her lips. “God, Connor, you should have seen her face when she got that letter from Duke. She came in here all excited, and then her reality hit, and she was trying to work out a way to be able to do everything.” Pity laces her tone. “Classic-Ava, right?”

I nod, trying to picture Ava’s reaction when she got that letter, but I can’t… all I can envision is the heartache from the video I watched.

“She would’ve loved to start with you,” she rushes, as if she’s been dying to tell me all this but didn’t know how. “But she had to make sure her mom was okay and that she’d be settled in her placement. She didn’t want to rush things, and that’s why she deferred