don’t see anyone as I quickly make my way to the Queen’s Courtyard, not even any of the servants.
Did they get caught on their way here? I panic, worried that the plan has fallen apart already. No, don’t jump to conclusions. Trust in the Mother. Taking a deep breath, I enter the courtyard, immediately feeling calmer at the soft sounds of the water fountains. As inconspicuously as possible, I look around to make sure I’ve not been followed before making my way over to the far fountain.
Tor is here, I can feel it in that pull in my chest, and the closer I get, the harder the pull becomes. Suddenly, a hand appears out of nowhere, and I’m pulled into the shield and crashing into a hard chest. Gasping at the impact, I stare at the warm chest I’m pressed against before a very male laugh gets my attention. I look up and see an amused Tor, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Quickly pulling away, I turn, trying to hide my blush in the hood of my cloak.
“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight.” His timbre is low, and as his voice grows louder, I can tell he’s getting closer, like he’s unable to stay away. My heart does this strange flutter as he speaks, so I rub my chest, hoping it fades.
“I almost didn’t come.” Shrugging, I take another step away, needing some space from his intensity. He’s silent, and after a minute or so, I peer over my shoulder and see he’s still watching me. I turn back around, and he smiles and closes the gap between us, raising a hand and pushing back my hood. He threads his fingers into my black hair and frowns at the dark strands, and I can tell he wants to ask me something but he’s hesitating.
“What’s wrong?”
“I heard some of the servants talking about bodies in the great hall. What was that about?” He doesn’t ask gently or mince his words, inquiring straight out. Sighing, I take a step back as the memories of this evening flash through my mind. I close my eyes and sigh as I try to sort my thoughts. There isn’t a pretty way to say this, so I follow his lead and don’t hide any of the truth or pain.
“The prince is looking for a wife. We were invited to mingle and prove ourselves. Those who didn’t do a good enough job were... killed, poisoned. A lot of ladies died tonight.”
“Fuck.” He genuinely sounds upset at this turn of events. I glance up and search his expression, noticing his features are taut with anger. There’s something about seeing him like this that awakens something within me, that sense of familiarity rising again. His eyes scan my face, assessing, and I can tell from the tension in his body that he wants to reach out, to touch me.
Admit it, you want him to touch you too. Pushing the thought away, I notice my eyes are locked on his lips, so I take a deep breath and avert my gaze. I pull my cloak closer around me, hoping it will cover my shiver—not from the cold, but the fact he is standing so close to me.
“Are you okay?” His voice is gruff, and I get the feeling he’s not asking me about my flushing cheeks, but about this evening’s massacre.
“I’ve seen much death.” Truth. I learned from an early age to expect to die at any moment, for any reason. Many slaves were killed for the smallest of errors, or even just because their master was in a bad mood. There didn’t have to be a reason behind it. I sound blasé, but if I was to tell him how I really felt, I fear I wouldn’t be able to contain my feelings.
Tor makes a noise and crosses his arms over his chest, his intense gaze locked on my face as if it holds the answers to all his questions. “So have I, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”
He’s right. My life is so different now than how it used to be. Before, I was numb to death, but now, now I’ve been given a chance, a hope, and seeing those ladies die, their lives cut short, seems so much crueller now than it did previously. My heart begins to thaw and it’s a painful process, and part of me wishes I could go back to being unfeeling.