I’m not quite sure where that feeling comes from, but my instincts have never let me down so far.
“Yes,” I tell her calmly. I can’t explain why and I don’t try to, I just let my assurance come through. Removing my hand from hers, I reach across and touch my Goddess mark, something I’ve recently found helps to calm or reassure me when I need it. The mark starts glowing almost immediately, gently at first, but then it grows, its pulsing purple light filling the room. “I think the Mother agrees too.”
My smile is wide as we bathe in the light of our Goddess. Jayne’s face has a look of wonder, her eyes wide before they fall back on me. The light starts to fade, and she stands and wraps her arms tightly around me, pulling me into a hug.
“Thank you.” Her words are mumbled as she presses her face against my shoulder, clearly overwhelmed, and I understand. Returning her embrace, I simply hold her until she’s ready to let go.
“You could go too,” I whisper, and she huffs a short laugh as she pulls away. Shaking her head, she reaches up and brushes away the tears she’s trying to hide. I pretend I don’t see them and take a sip of my drink to give her time to compose herself.
“You and Grayson are my family,” she tells me, her smile back in place as she sits down. I’m about to point out that her real family could be escaping, and she might not see them again if she doesn’t go, but she adds, “Besides, you’d both fall apart without me here.”
I chuckle at that. She’s right, I’m not sure what we would do without her. I’ve gone my whole life without a maid, and now I rely on her so much. Leaning back in my chair, I examine the woman.
I guess we don’t rely on her so much because she’s a maid, but because she cares for us more like a mother than someone who’s being paid to be here, I muse, realising how much I would miss her if she left.
“Wouldn’t you miss your family?” I inquire gently, not quite understanding why she wouldn’t escape with her blood relatives and stay with us instead—her adopted children.
“I barely know them,” she admits, shaking her head with a slight wince of her face. “In fact, I don’t have the best relationship with them, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want them safe. Besides, I already told you, you and Grayson are my family and you need me more.” That explains things a bit more, but my eyes sting with unshed tears at her words. I don’t trust myself to speak without crying at the moment, so I simply nod, a smile gracing my lips. She watches me with knowing eyes, returning my smile. “Speaking of Grayson, have you spoken with him about this?”
“Spoken to Grayson about what?” the magician queries, as he strolls into the room.
“Nothing,” I blurt out as I instantly clam up, partially because I don’t want to tell him about this yet, but I’m also still sore from his comments this morning. He gives me a strange look but shakes it off as he goes to get himself a drink. Reaching up to the top cupboard, he pulls out a glass and a bottle of wine. After pouring a large glass, he raises it to his lips and takes a long drink. Realising I’m just sitting here staring at him, I look away, reaching for my own mug of tea.
“Jayne, I need to have a word with Clarissa. Would you mind giving us a minute?”
Jayne shares a look with me, and I know what she’s saying—she wants me to tell him. “Of course, Grayson,” she says with a smile, before reaching over and touching my arm. “Good night, Clarissa.” Her eyes are telling me more than what she said, and I dip my head slightly in agreement.
I’m not quite sure why I’m so worried all of a sudden, I was the one to insist with Torin that I tell Grayson. So why am I feeling so anxious?
What if he thinks it’s a bad idea? If he tries to stop you? What would you do then? The thoughts make me pause. Would he do that? If he tries to stop me...I would just have to go behind his back. This is important, it’s going to save lives. The notion of lying to him makes me feel sick to