he came back from the warfront, he had changed and was suddenly devoted to the Mother. Except what he was saying didn’t sound like the Great Mother I know and worship.” He lets out a deep breath, as if he’s been holding onto what he said for a long time, and gives me a wry smile. “I envy you.”
That feeling, the pull that is practically dragging me over to the fountain is getting so strong I’m struggling to focus, but, thankfully, Jacob doesn’t seem to notice. It takes a second for me to process what he said. “Wait, you...envy me?”
The statement seems so absurd that I want to laugh out loud, but then I remember he only knows me as Lady Clarissa. He has no inkling of my past or the fact I’ve been watching him and the other royals for years.
“Yes, I envy the easy friendships you seem to make. Grayson and Wilson appear enamoured by you. I’ve never told any of this to anyone before. I don’t really have any friends,” he admits, and I realise he’s right. I might not have anything else, but I do have friends, something I never thought I’d get to have.
“Thank you for feeling like you can share that with me.” I smile at him, struggling to keep it in place as that impulse starts to get painful. “You do have a friend—me.”
He stills then, his eyes running over me, and a strange expression I’ve not seen before passes over his face. I shuffle on the hard bench as uncertainty runs through me, my eyes darting over his shoulder to that damn fountain. I need to get rid of Jacob so I can go investigate. The feeling flashing through me insists that he can’t know about whatever is happening in that corner of the courtyard.
“What if I want to be more than friends?” Jacob questions, his voice deeper than it was before, and I snap my eyes to him in surprise. Panic rises within me.
Is that normal? To panic when someone tells you they like you? I ask myself. I’ve watched romances from afar, but I have no idea how I’m supposed to feel. I like Jacob, but I’m not sure it goes any further than friendship. The fact his father just sentenced hundreds of children to enslavement also doesn’t help with my feelings towards him and his family. Jumping up from the bench, I take a few steps away, needing some space, and I can feel his gaze on me, tracking my movements.
“I’m very flattered, Your Highness,” I reply. I have no idea how to do this.
“Back to ‘Your Highness?’” He frowns, running his hand over his face as he sighs. Peering back up, he seems unsure, and my heart constricts, feeling bad that I’ve made him feel that way. “Have I messed things up?”
I immediately shake my head, wanting to comfort him and explain my feelings. “No, we’re still friends, I promise,” I reassure him. “I just…I need some space to think. So much has changed in the last couple of days,” I explain, not sure if I’m making any sense, but his face softens as I speak.
Not to mention I need to get him away from that fountain.
“Okay, I’ll give you some time. Shall I escort you back to your room?”
Shaking my head, I look up at the sky again, watching as a songbird flies overhead. This whole conversation has confused me, and I’m not sure how I feel about Jacob after his revelations. I still trust him, I just don’t know how to behave around him anymore, especially with how I feel about his father.
Giving him a gentle smile, I shake my head at his offer. “No, thank you. I want to get some more air for a little bit.”
“Okay, I understand,” he murmurs, but his smile has dropped, and his expression shows his hurt. He quickly snaps his royal persona back into place. “Goodbye, Clarissa.” Turning, he quickly exits the courtyard, and if it wasn’t for the pain that fills me, I would probably follow after him, wanting to soothe him.
However, as if under a spell, my feet start walking towards that fountain, my emotions a tempestuous mixture in my chest. Desperate need fills me, and I don’t think I could fight this pull even if I wanted to.
This could be a trap. You shouldn’t be messing with magic. My inner voice is right, but this is like no magic I’ve ever felt before, and as I