Into The Fire - E. L. Todd Page 0,81

I walked inside.

Like I gave a damn.

I searched for the pretty brown hair and green eyes I found so hypnotizing. After a quick sweep of the place, I found her sitting at a table against the back wall. Her hands were in her lap and she stared at the painting mounted beside her. Two waters and a basket of bread were on the table but she hadn’t touched anything.

I maneuvered through the tables and past the waiters until I reached her table. Then I fell into the seat across from her. I was a little out of breath from running all the way there, and the adrenaline was still flowing in my blood. My only goal was to get there, and now that I was sitting across from her, I didn’t know what to do next. Talking wasn’t my strongest point and I knew I would have to do a lot of that.

Alessandra made three different expressions in a row as she took me in. At first, she seemed to doubt her sanity, like I wasn’t really there. Then shock came into her eyes when she realized this was real. Soon, confusion took over. “Ash, what are you doing here?”

Okay, now what? What did I say? I’d never done this before. “Sawyer isn’t coming.”

“Wait…you know him?”

“Yep. He’s one of my closest friends.”

“Oh…” Guilt came across her face. “Honestly, I didn’t know.”

“Why are you going on a date with him? You’re way out of his league.”

She shrugged. “He seemed nice enough.”

“And what happened to that stiff lawyer?”

“It didn’t work out.” That was all she said.

“Because…?”

Her sass came to the surface. “None of your business. That’s why it didn’t work out.”

I wasn’t conducting this conversation well.

“So, Sawyer isn’t coming at all?” she asked.

“Nope. Like I’d ever let him anywhere near you.”

Irritation shined bright in her eyes before she snatched her purse. “Well, then I should go. Good bye, Ash.”

“Whoa, hold on. Sit your ass down.”

Her hatred intensified.

I realized my mistake. “I mean, please give me a second.”

She set her purse down but it didn’t look like she wanted to.

Okay…here it goes. I wasn’t afraid of anything, not even a gun pointed right at my head. I’d crossed a minefield without my heart rate even going up. But trying to compose my feelings and thoughts into words was too damn hard. How did people do this on a regular basis? I wish she could just read my mind. It’d make it a lot easier.

Alessandra leaned forward. “What is it, Ash? I know I don’t have a date anymore but I am hungry.”

“Then let’s order.”

She pressed her lips together in irritation. “I don’t want to eat with you.”

Ouch. That shook my confidence. I tried to remember how great we were together. I knew she was mad at me, but deep in my heart, I knew there was something else there. “Look, I’m not good at talking about my feelings. Honestly, I don’t have very many feelings. I’m pretty cut and dry in that regard.”

Alessandra looked bored.

“This isn’t easy for me to say…I’m new to all of this. For the past few months, I’ve been struggling to figure out what the hell is going on in my brain.”

“And did you figure it out?” she asked coldly.

“No. The problem isn’t with my brain…it’s with my heart.”

Her eyes dilated slightly.

“Alessandra, I know I’m not much. I’m arrogant and stubborn. I’m hotheaded and bossy. And I get jealous really easily…as I recently found out. I don’t have a lot to offer and you were right when you said I wasn’t your type. But…I want to be.”

She tilted her head slightly like she didn’t understand my meaning.

“I know I said I didn’t do the girlfriend thing and relationships weren’t my forté but…I want one with you.” I held my breath as I watched her reaction. “I don’t want you to date other men. I don’t want you to look for a husband on Tinder. I want to have you all to myself. Give me a chance. I really think I could do it if you were patient with me.”

Her expression didn’t change at all. She just watched me with a stoic expression.

Fuck, this was worse than I thought.

“I would never date you, Ash. You aren’t the kind of man I want.”

Fuck, that hurt. No one had ever hurt me with their words before, not like that. I put myself on display and made myself vulnerable. And she stabbed me a dozen times before she wiped the blade clean on