to be stuck in that vortex forever but I know I need to get out before I’m in so deep I’ll never crawl out. I’m already hung up on him as it is. I’ll never move on if I go back to him now.”
“Forgive me for saying this, but it sounds like you’re in love with him.”
“No.” I couldn’t let that happen. And if it did happen, I couldn’t admit that to myself. I would just be even more hurt.
“Well, I know you’ll find the right guy if you keep looking for him. You’re such a beautiful woman with a lot to offer. If I didn’t already have someone, I’d have fallen for you.”
I smiled. “Thanks.”
He groaned. “I’m not looking forward to telling my sister.”
I chuckled. “She won’t be happy. I know she didn’t like your ex much.”
“Actually, she hated her,” he corrected. “And you’re right. She’s going to kill me.”
“Just be strong,” I said. “She’s the one. Shelly will come around eventually.”
“Yeah…we’ll see.”
***
Now I was back to square one.
I wasn’t seeing anybody, and the only guy I really wanted to see was a lying asshole. Spending another night with him was all I wanted but I could never have it. It would be so easy to cave and invite him over for the evening but I couldn’t do it. I’d get sucked in all over again.
I didn’t know what to do, but sitting around and sulking over my terrible love life wouldn’t solve anything. It was so hard for me to meet anybody organically because I only worked with women at the office, and when I escorted my clients, they were all men who had to pay to get a date.
So, not very good odds.
A lot of people did online dating. Some people said it was a great experience while others claimed it was horrendous. People weren’t who they claimed to be, and you never knew when you were going to end up with a psycho on your hands.
But what other choice did I have? I needed to get over Ash. He was my biggest regret but my favorite mistake. I wouldn’t trade what I had with him for anything. In the back of my mind, I knew he would have been the one if he didn’t have his weird issues with relationships, love, and commitment. If he’d been open to any of that, things would have been much different.
But he never would be.
I checked out eHarmony and a few other dating websites. They were a bit of a hassle because of the endless number of questions. And it seemed directed toward an older demographic who had serious plans for settling down. I was seeking a relationship that could lead to marriage and kids, but at the same time, I wasn’t in a hurry. I needed something less intense.
Then I remembered Tinder. It was known as a hook-up app but more guys used it because it was so convenient. Guys didn’t put much effort into anything unless it was working out or getting a pizza. I thought I’d have better luck with that and with younger men.
The app was a little confusing in the beginning, but after I got the hang of it, things were smooth. A lot of guys tagged me and initiated a conversation. There were photos and some of them were decently cute. A few of them were good-looking. One guy in particular caught my attention. He had dark brown hair and blue eyes. And his name was Sawyer.
You need some meat on your bones. Let me buy you dinner. His message popped up on the screen.
Don’t you want to ask me something first?
Yeah. What do you like to eat?
He was funny so I kept talking to him. How about a different question?
Okay…what time do you prefer to eat?
I took over the conversation. What do you do?
I’ll list three occupations and only one is the truth. You have to pick the right one.
This could be fun.
Astronaut. Surgeon. MLB player.
What? He was seriously one of those? Uh…surgeon?
Nope. Actually, I don’t do any of those. I was just messing with you. I own a gym in the city. It’s called Crunch Fitness. Now you know why I’m so in shape. He included a smiley face.
That’s still pretty cool. Don’t you want to know what I do?
I’ll ask over dinner.
I smiled and rolled my eyes at the same time. Fine. You wore me down.
Sweet. Dinner on Saturday?
Sure.
That wasn’t so bad. He had a nice personality and he was funny.