I didn’t do the girlfriend thing and never would. Relationships were just a waste of time. I didn’t feel anything for Alessandra besides lust and friendship. She was just some girl I hung out with.
All the time.
Then why did this bother me so much? Alessandra was the best sex I’ve ever had and now that was being taken away from me. Perhaps that’s what bothered me. Maybe I was just being a baby because I wasn’t getting my way.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her new guy.
Was he tall? Taller than me?
Was he funny?
Did he have any tattoos?
Younger than me? Older?
I couldn’t stop picturing her with him, and every time I did, I felt sick. I’d slept in her bed countless times, every weekend. Now she would be sharing it with someone else.
I hadn’t been with anyone since I met her and I realized how odd that was. I’d never slept with one girl for that long before, and I wasn’t even monogamous with them. With Alessandra, I wanted to be with her all the time.
Shit, what was going on?
***
I was mad at her and I wasn’t even sure why.
She did nothing wrong, but every time I thought about her, I got pissed off. I didn’t call her or text her. I didn’t stop by her apartment anymore. I ignored her for two weeks, and when my parents asked if we could all have dinner together, I lied and said Alessandra was sick.
I was in a bad mood all day, every day. I was constantly distracted at work and my clients thought I hated them. I didn’t go out because I preferred to sit around and mope all night.
Sleeping alone was a hollow feeling. I used to hate cuddling with the girls that stayed over, but I never minded with Alessandra. She fit perfectly against me, and I loved having her there so I could have my way with her in the morning.
But now that was gone.
And I missed her. I missed going to brunch with her and telling her about my day. Whenever I heard something funny, I wanted to share it with her. But then I remembered I was angry with her and we weren’t talking anymore.
The separation was killing me with every passing week. I’d had so many women come and go in my life and I never blinked an eye over it. With Alessandra, I thought I lost a piece of myself.
Why hadn’t she called me?
Did she not think about me?
Did I really mean nothing to her?
Fuck, why was I acting like such a girl right now?
When I couldn’t stand the separation anymore, I caved and texted her. Want to get brunch? I regretted typing the message after I sent it. I should have remained strong and not reached out to her. Would she realize how pathetic I was?
Sure.
She said yes? In half an hour?
Okay.
***
I arrived before she did and got a table. A vase of flowers were on the surface, and the restaurant’s specials were listed on a flimsy piece of paper. Cinnamon raisin pancakes were on the menu. Maybe I should try those.
Alessandra walked inside wearing white shorts and a blue top. Her perfect body was highlighted by the tightness of her clothes. Her long legs went on for days. Her long hair framed her shoulders, and a gold bracelet was on her wrist.
Damn.
She smiled when she spotted me at the table. Then she came my way, her purse over her shoulder. “Hey, how are you?”
I immediately stood up and hugged her tightly. I pulled her to my chest and smelled her familiar scent. Her hair tickled my neck slightly. One hand rested on the deep curve of her back. My chin rested on her head because of our height difference. I closed my eyes as I held her. I had no idea what I was doing or why I was doing it. All I knew was I wanted to do it. “Good. You?”
“Great.” Her thin arms hugged me back. “It’s nice to hear from you. I haven’t had a good breakfast in a long time.”
“Me neither.” I finally pulled away and cleared my throat. I sat down across from her, feeling my heart sink into my chest. She was more beautiful than I remembered. Her green eyes were bright with excitement. She had light make up on her face, and her eyes were highlighted with eye shadow.
She grabbed the menu. “Ooh…cinnamon raisin pancakes.