formed in my stomach—like I was embarrassed. With another shrug, I looked at her and said, “Because you made it stop.”
Her smile disappeared. “Made what stop?”
“Everything.”
She watched me for a while, her eyebrows pulling together again. “What’s that mean?”
I thought about the way her voice had broken through the anger and need to hurt someone. Thought about the way my anger could take over in an instant . . .
I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t control it. How was I supposed to explain it to some girl?
“Can’t explain it,” I mumbled. “Any of it.”
“Well, can you tell me why you’re covered in mud?”
The corner of my mouth pulled into a frown. “My brother.”
She nodded before turning and walking away.
I wanted to go after her. Chase her. Ask her not to turn away from me the way everyone else did. But I had a feeling chasing after her would change her worry to fear real fast, so I trudged off to the hose and had just gotten it turned on when she appeared beside me.
“Can I ask you something?” When I nodded, she said, “When I got out of the car, your dad was holding you down, and your brother was crying.” She took a step closer and looked right into my eyes. “Why?”
And the truth just came out of me. “Because I was hitting him.”
She didn’t move. Not sure the girl even blinked. “But why?”
“Because I was mad.”
“I know.” Another step closer, and I was pretty sure she was trying to get inside my head with the way she was looking at me. Dizzying me up in a different way than my anger did with how she smelled—like sugar with a hint of lemon. “But I’ve never seen anyone mad the way you were mad, Beau Dixon, and I wanna understand it.”
“Why?”
Her mouth lifted in a smile that kinda made her look like her momma. “The way you looked at me. It made me sad.”
“You musta messed up real bad,” Hunter interrupted as he rounded the corner. “Who’re you?”
“Who’re you?” Savannah echoed, lifting her chin.
“I live here,” Hunter answered as he moved closer.
“Her name’s Savannah,” I said before it could continue. “She moved onto the property next to ours.”
Hunter’s mouth formed an O as he hooked a thumb toward our house. “Momma and Dad are telling some lady all about you.”
“Saying you Hulks-out!” Sawyer yelled as he and Emberly came running from the same direction Hunter had come from.
“Yeah,” Hunter added, “and lots of other bad stuff.”
My teeth clenched tight. My jaw hurting real bad as that embarrassment grew and grew until I felt sick with it.
“We got sents outside,” Sawyer said as he smiled at the girl next to me. “You’re real pretty, but I’m marrying my Leightons. Sorry.”
Savannah giggled behind her hand before waving at Emberly. “Are you Leighton?”
“Ew!” Sawyer and Emberly said at the same time before shoving at each other and taking off running toward the barn.
“That’s Emberly,” I said softly, trying to breathe through my embarrassment and the anger that came with it. “She’s basically our sister.”
“Oops,” Savannah whispered.
I finally brought the hose up over my head and started scrubbing at my hair and neck. Trying to drown out Hunter’s voice when he said, “Saw Cays . . . you really got him, Beau. And Momma’s tellin’ that lady about all the things they’ve tried with you. How nothin’ helps or stops you. How you’re gettin’ wor—”
I had him shoved up against the side of the house before he could finish what he was saying. Arms shaking so bad, I was pretty sure I was shaking my brother too.
He didn’t say anything. Just watched me.
He knew . . . he knew when he’d pushed me too far.
Every part of my body felt like I’d been shocked—like lightning had struck me—when Savannah placed her hand on my arm.
“You should let him go,” she said softly, her golden eyes on me.
Just like before, it was gone. Disappearing as fast as it had taken over me.
My arms fell to my sides, and Hunter took off running, but I didn’t look away from the girl next to me. Just tried to figure out who she was and how she could do that.
And then that shame rose again until it was too much.
I’d been angry with myself and whatever was wrong with me. But I’d never been embarrassed until this girl had shown up. And I hated the feeling.
My head shook as I pulled away from her and stormed off