A Filthy Friend (Filthy Line #5) - Jaxson Kidman Page 0,67

couch so we always shared my bed.

Tonight, I wasn’t going to do that.

She could have the bed.

I pulled myself to the couch and pulled the blanket on the back of the couch on top of me.

I reached for my phone as though there was going to magically be some texts or something waiting.

There wasn’t.

I looked at the dining room table.

All the flowers were gone.

They were dead, thrown in the trash, and gone.

Everything had just moved forward.

I slowly shut my eyes.

I begged my mind not to dream of Sab. Or Sebastian.

I knew that was impossible.

I look at myself in the mirror.

Am I pretty enough? For him?

I notice that my eyebrows are uneven.

There are some girls that actually get their eyebrows taken care of.

Not me.

I’ve never asked my mother about it. I didn’t want her to question me as to why.

My eyelashes are too short too.

Someone told me that boys look at girls’ eyelashes.

Not sure if that’s true.

And then my shirt.

I don’t want to wear slutty clothes, but it would be nice to…

I look down.

I wish my chest was bigger and my stomach flatter.

Duh - who doesn’t?

But the only thing that matters is…

“Am I pretty enough?”

“Of course you are.”

I gasp and turn to see my mother standing in the bathroom doorway.

“Mom.”

“Bree.”

“What are you doing?”

“Who’s the lucky boy that’s driving your heart crazy?”

I swallow hard. “Nobody.”

“Can you tell me three things you like about yourself?”

“No.”

“I can. I love your eyes. They’re always bright. I love your smile. It makes me smile. And I love your ears.”

“My ears?”

“Yeah. They’re perfect. They’re cute.”

“I don’t think boys are going to care about my ears.”

“Maybe not. Is this about… Sebastian?”

“What? No! He’s my friend, Mom. Are you serious? That would be weird. So weird.”

She nods. “Okay. Just asking.”

“Did you like someone that you shouldn’t?”

“Well, if you like someone… why shouldn’t you?”

After a few silent seconds, my mother laughs.

She walks to me and hugs me.

“I love you, Bree,” she whispers. “You’re beautiful. I know it’s hard not to compare yourself to others. And I know it’s easy to try and find things wrong with you. But you’re beautiful. And perfect. Trust me. You don’t ever have to change.”

She kisses the top of my head and walks out of the bathroom.

I look at myself in the mirror again.

She might be right.

Or I just might be wrong.

Me? Sebastian?

It can’t happen.

I need to shove that away.

I love him. I can’t help that I love him.

But I can hide that.

But if he ever tells me he likes me…

I groaned in my sleep, knowing where the dream was going to go.

It was the dream where Sab showed up to tell me he loved me.

Then he would tell me to pack a bag because we were running away to Los Angeles together.

And it was perfect.

We were perfect.

It was all just a dream.

Just a wild and lonely dream.

I came back to reality but kept my eyes shut.

Opening my eyes meant accepting it was another day.

And it almost meant facing the wine hangover that Mia brought me the night before.

I rolled to my right and buried my face into the corner of the couch.

I was never going to move from this spot. Ever. No matter what.

“Morning, babe.”

Those two words were more of a jolt than a giant-sized cup of coffee.

I popped up and turned my head.

Sab was sitting across from me.

I touched my hair.

My hands started to shake.

Sab leaned forward and gently moved my couch head hair behind my ears.

“You’re still beautiful,” he said.

“I’m hungover from wine,” I said. “And my neck hurts from sleeping on the couch.”

“Again… still beautiful.”

“Okay, now that you’re awake, I’m going to get going!” Mia’s voice called out from the kitchen.

When she appeared, her eyes were big and her cheeks were red.

“Did you do this?” I asked her.

“Uh, no,” she said. “If I knew a hot rock star was coming over this morning, I would have been well prepared.”

“How?” I asked.

“I would have gotten up at five to shower, put on makeup, wear something low cut, and I would have worn my good bra.”

“What the hell is a good bra?” Sab asked.

Mia’s face turned redder. “It pushes them back up to where they belong. Before the baby.”

“You look good the way you are,” Sab said.

Mia fanned herself. “Okay, I have to leave. If not, I’m going to jump his bones and spend the rest of my life telling myself it was worth it.”

Mia made a whimpering sound and hurried for the door.

Sab and I looked at each other.

“She didn’t call me,